Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Why is there a war against dads?

WATCHING your child come into the world is arguably one of the most life-changing events in a man’s life, certainly was for me.

But new research suggests that some fathers should steer clear of the delivery room because they could make the pain of childbirth even worse (!!)

A study by University College London, King's College London and the University of Hertfordshire suggests that women who lack emotional intimacy with their partner experienced more pain if they are on hand.

This 'news' has made the front page of no less than The Times today, what is it with this 'war' on dads?

Surely if we want men to be good dads we need to be involved from the very moment things 'get real'.

We will never experience the aches and pains, the kicks, that wonderful relationship that begins as the tummy expands, surely even the most squeamish men should be allowed to witness the birth of the baby they have helped make?

One minute there is a war against feckless dad who make a woman pregnant and abandon them and the next science is saying actually they shouldn't be there in the first place!

Is there no wonder some men are disconnected from the whole process? Pam would never have accepted me not being in the delivery room. 'Oh I can't cope with seeing her in all that pain' - newsflash it ain't a walk in the park for the mum either!!

No words can adequately express the moment your child arrives into the world. Jacob's entrance will be burned on to my mind forever as will that precious first half an hour cradling this wonderful if messy new arrival.

Instead of banishing dads, let's educate and talk about it. Because the reward is so worth it.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Don't want to be a dad, put something on the end of it!

SORRY to quote Jeremy Kyle but it felt appropriate for a post re the disillusioned father-of-three who made headlines when he listed his kids' old buggy for sale on eBay.

If you haven't read it, basically the guy resents being a dad and posted a sarcastic tirade about how becoming a dad ended his 'carefree life'.

Now I am willing to believe it's a sarcastic post and the man is a devoted father and he simply trying to flog it for a load of money.

But if it's serious then why have kids? I won't lie and say everything is just fine, there are good and bad days but surely he knew that when he fertilised his wife?

I can't understand men who moan about how much life has changed and how it's all about the kids now. Er yes that's kind of the deal you make when you make a baby!

Life has changed, you don't sleep, you can't just go out randomly, you can't go out on all nighters and that but instead you have this little bundle who learns something new every day and loves you unconditionally. That's enough for me to ditch everything!

Huge numbers of men around the world will never be able to father a child for various reasons, then you have this guy whinging about being blessed THREE times.

This is why to any wannabe dad, think before you do the deed, are you ready to tackle the challenge fatherhood presents?

If not then Durex do a fine range of products.....

An apology to my son

I LOOKED at Jacob this morning and wanted to apologise to him. I wanted to apologise for the way the world is heading and what he may face when he becomes an adult.

It's a shame I have to blog with such negativity but frankly I am so annoyed I need to vent my spleen.

The 'joy' that The Sun is dropping page three is nauseating for many reasons, none of them because I love perving on the young ladies, I have evolved unlike some men

The campaigners will tell you it sexualises children, it encourages men to commit heinous and depraved sexual crimes and makes women somehow lower class citizens.

Wrong, wrong and wrong. Plenty of grown ups today followed my path, saw page three but had parents to explain the differences between the male and female body but how as a man you should respect women.

And page three is to blame for some of the vile crimes committed against women? Do me a favour, any man that commits these vile and depraved crimes is sick in the head already.

Women are lower class citizens – nope, none of these women have been forced onto page three, bound and gagged. They have chosen to do it, none of them are porn stars, they are real women with real bodies.

If Jacob saw page three when he was older, I want to be able to sit down and explain that while the paper has chosen to print that, he as a man has a duty to respect all women and their bodies.

I don't want my son growing up in a world where bodies of both sexes are hidden. It's not about sexaualising children but helping them understand at an early age that while the human body is desirable it must be respected.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone, my sole intention is express my opinion  

Monday, 5 January 2015

Hello 2015 and thanks for the memories 2014

I KNOW, a year in review post five days after it finished, I’ve been busy!

2014 was a wonderful year as I became a dad for the first time to baby Jacob although I question how he already is five months old, where does the time go.
I feel truly humbled to have been blessed with a child and that Pam enjoyed a relatively healthy pregnancy and suffered little ill effects in the aftermath.

We didn’t have the birth we wanted but the greatest gift for any man is to bring his wife and child home, both healthy and happy if a little bewildered by the whole thing!
It’s a gift I cherish and am thankful for each day and I am humbled to see my wonderful wife evolve from the kind-hearted person she has always been to the natural mother. I know I am biased but I truly believe she was born to be a mother, I am just thankful I played my part in helping her achieve her destiny.

Also in 2014 I saw good friends become parents, some for the first time in dramatic circumstances and others for the second time, their lives made complete by the welcome arrival of another little bundle.
Family members have made decisions about their futures and some dear friends have bounced back from the abyss in style and are now looking down the road to a brighter tomorrow.

I still miss those we have lost but cherish the fact my immediate family all have their health, all apart from my dear mum.
Dementia is sadly a permanent resident but the fight in her heart remains, she has never been beaten by anything in her life and dementia, you’ve picked a tough cookie this time.

The mum I know is long gone, but her courage and her will to keep going sustains me and my dad. To anyone coping with dementia I say don’t focus on the present, treasure the memories.
So what of 2015? What are you bringing to the party? You’ve got a lot to live up to!

Whatever you have to offer, I will attack every day the same and to everyone reading this may I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2015.