Thursday 28 May 2015

A Dad's take on bressure and brelfies

BREAST feeding is back in the news today and apparently now any mum who posts a pic of her breastfeeding has put pressure on those who couldn't for whatever reason.

As a result, the hashtag #bressure has provoked a lot of support from bottle feeding mums who feel pressured into breastfeeding.

Various stories, 'how I was looked down on when I bottlefed' and the like have been posted and frankly it's ridiculous.

As I recall, 'brelfies' rose to prominence because various social media sites were censoring breastfeeding pictures because of all the 'nudity' (god help too much flesh is shown eh)

I don't recall one brelfie with the message 'This is the right and only way and a plague on all those who don't flop their boobs out to nurture their babies'

Why? because it didn't happen. Brelfies were proud mums, sharing those intimate moments with the world.

The same intimate moments can be had with bottle feeding, had this campaign been 'bottlefie' then brilliant, a great way to get the message across that breast or bottle, both are brilliant.

But instead it's back to running down breastfeeding. I've seen the hurt in Pam's eyes when she couldn't get Jacob to feed from her breast. He was lazy, we had all the help possible, lovely supportive midwives, different positions but sometimes it just doesn't work.

But now, nine months on, is she ashamed she couldn't, depressed and pressured if she sees a mum breastfeeding? No, my wife like hundreds of millions of women in the world is proud, proud she carried and birthed a baby. Because whatever the argument, THAT is the greatest accomplishment.

If anyone in your social circle judges you for not being able to breastfeed then maybe you need to rethink your social circle?

I know Pam wouldn't look down on any mum who breastfeeds or bottlefeeds and speaking as a dad, I can't see how any woman could.

Women are given the greatest gift, they can conceive, grow and deliver human life. Frankly, it doesn't matter how they then feed their babies just as long as they do.

We shouldn't judge anyone on either side of this debate, we should instead remember our children are being fed, some aren't.

Surely that's a bigger issue to worry about?

Saturday 14 February 2015

Being a dad - six months on!

SO it’s been six months since we became parents. And the good news is we haven’t damaged Jacob in anyway! I’m sure I wasn't alone in thinking in the delivery room, what if I break him?

But, as with most things in fatherhood you soon realise your worries are just frankly ridiculous!

What it has been has been a voyage of discovery and learning, of sleepless nights and fun-filled days.

Nothing in life can prepare you for the actual job of fatherhood, you can learn lots about babycare but nothing prepares you for the emotional hit of holding your own child.

What have I learned? A load, both about myself, about patience and the joy of baby watching. Come on dads, we have all done it, just stopped and watched how our little ones go about their day.

Jacob is just a delight, especially now at six months where he is babbling away and developing a really funny personality. His favourite trick at the moment appears to be looking all sad at either me or his mum.
When he inevitably gets out attention, the cheeky little scamp either smiles so warmly or turns away quickly with a sudden bout of ‘shyness’.
I’ve also learned nothing really matters, a bad day at work can be resolved the moment you walk through the door.
I have been so blessed that as well as a healthy baby, I have the most fabulous wife, a woman born to be a mother and a true natural. But then again I am biased!!!
From the early days of neither of us knowing what the heck we were doing to now, it’s been a wonderful journey so far, long may it continue.
So for those dads to be, let me share some wisdom. Firstly, be there for the birth and see what you want to see, those precious first seconds will be burned on your memory forever
Secondly, get involved in feeding and nappies: Jacob weed on me not once but twice on his first day in the world,  a badge of honour!
Thirdly, during your paternity leave, make sure you do as much round the house as you can, it’s a good chance to learn something new!
And finally, when your baby and your partner/wife sleep, make sure you do as well or at least chill out on the sofa!
Thank you for the memories son, here’s to so many more


Monday 9 February 2015

REVIEW: 90:10 Hoodie

BEING a big fan of hoodies I was delighted to receive an offer to review one from the guys at 90:10 given I’m also 90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not!

When you become a dad, you find yourself wondering whether you should grow up now and act responsible. But pretty soon you realise you can still have fun and enjoy yourself, just because I’m a dad and in my 30s it doesn’t mean I’m past it, no sir!

I decided to give my 90:10 hoodie the biggest challenge and put it on straight after a shower and straight away I loved the close feel and it certainly kept the heat in.

I liked the look of it immediately, really nice and attractive branding yet not too obvious and off putting for the 90 per cent of me that is grown up!

Comfy to drive in and lark about in, the 90:10 hoodie is well made and stands up to any challenge thrown at it, especially if you always on the go.

One of the first comments from my wife was I looked slimmer in it, so if you’re trying to hide a few pounds lads you know where to look!

While it certainly keeps the heat in during this current cold spell, I imagine it will also be perfect for the spring and summer months.

I went bowling with the guys from work on Friday night and decided to throw it back on as the navy blue looks great with jeans.

The design looks both smart and casual, something which is not always the case with some of the more well-known brands.

I tend to throw on hoodies during the colder months and rely on longer sleeve shirts in the spring and summer.

However, I can easily see me reaching for this on a summer’s evening perhaps when the heat of the day has gone and it’s just a bit nippy. Hopefully I’ll be in a beer garden at the time!

90 per cent grown up is enough for me so it’s refreshing to know others feel the same, so much so they’ve put it on a hoodie!

90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not = 100 per cent satisfied!

Visit for more about the range, including a ‘headphone’ hoodie, yes guys now your iPhone has a real home!

Labour's paternity plan is great, but it has to be worthwhile.

THE news this morning that Labour would give new dads four weeks off work after the birth of their baby is very welcome.

Having agonisingly crawled to work two weeks after Jacob was born I would have welcomed another two weeks off, if not just to try and build up the courage to tear myself away from him!

But as many things in politics, a welcome announcement on the surface often becomes less so when you dig down to what we call 'reality'.

Paternity leave is wonderful; two weeks off, the Government pay for it, your annual leave is untouched. Your first two weeks as a daddy are taken care of....

However, when you actually look at what is offered, £138, you soon realise that the devil is indeed in the detail.

I earn roughly £300 a week, meaning had I had two weeks off I would have lost over a week's salary! I'm sure that wasn't the intention when paternity leave was created.

This is not a whinge, far from it, the fact that paternity leave even exists is great and that any contribution from the Government is welcome.

But the moment that little bundle arrives, you immediately think about protecting them and keeping them safe and losing money which could be spent on nappies and the like in the first month is a worry you just don't need.

We are lucky in this country to have fathers of relitavely young children in charge of all three parties, so parenting should remain on the agenda.

Labour have a great idea, it would be great now to see it worked through to ensure new dads aren't forced to use their annual leave.

I don't have the answer, I can only speak as a dad who took one week off the state and one week's annual leave when J was born.

Over to you Mr Miliband!

Wednesday 21 January 2015

Why is there a war against dads?

WATCHING your child come into the world is arguably one of the most life-changing events in a man’s life, certainly was for me.

But new research suggests that some fathers should steer clear of the delivery room because they could make the pain of childbirth even worse (!!)

A study by University College London, King's College London and the University of Hertfordshire suggests that women who lack emotional intimacy with their partner experienced more pain if they are on hand.

This 'news' has made the front page of no less than The Times today, what is it with this 'war' on dads?

Surely if we want men to be good dads we need to be involved from the very moment things 'get real'.

We will never experience the aches and pains, the kicks, that wonderful relationship that begins as the tummy expands, surely even the most squeamish men should be allowed to witness the birth of the baby they have helped make?

One minute there is a war against feckless dad who make a woman pregnant and abandon them and the next science is saying actually they shouldn't be there in the first place!

Is there no wonder some men are disconnected from the whole process? Pam would never have accepted me not being in the delivery room. 'Oh I can't cope with seeing her in all that pain' - newsflash it ain't a walk in the park for the mum either!!

No words can adequately express the moment your child arrives into the world. Jacob's entrance will be burned on to my mind forever as will that precious first half an hour cradling this wonderful if messy new arrival.

Instead of banishing dads, let's educate and talk about it. Because the reward is so worth it.

Tuesday 20 January 2015

Don't want to be a dad, put something on the end of it!

SORRY to quote Jeremy Kyle but it felt appropriate for a post re the disillusioned father-of-three who made headlines when he listed his kids' old buggy for sale on eBay.

If you haven't read it, basically the guy resents being a dad and posted a sarcastic tirade about how becoming a dad ended his 'carefree life'.

Now I am willing to believe it's a sarcastic post and the man is a devoted father and he simply trying to flog it for a load of money.

But if it's serious then why have kids? I won't lie and say everything is just fine, there are good and bad days but surely he knew that when he fertilised his wife?

I can't understand men who moan about how much life has changed and how it's all about the kids now. Er yes that's kind of the deal you make when you make a baby!

Life has changed, you don't sleep, you can't just go out randomly, you can't go out on all nighters and that but instead you have this little bundle who learns something new every day and loves you unconditionally. That's enough for me to ditch everything!

Huge numbers of men around the world will never be able to father a child for various reasons, then you have this guy whinging about being blessed THREE times.

This is why to any wannabe dad, think before you do the deed, are you ready to tackle the challenge fatherhood presents?

If not then Durex do a fine range of products.....

An apology to my son

I LOOKED at Jacob this morning and wanted to apologise to him. I wanted to apologise for the way the world is heading and what he may face when he becomes an adult.

It's a shame I have to blog with such negativity but frankly I am so annoyed I need to vent my spleen.

The 'joy' that The Sun is dropping page three is nauseating for many reasons, none of them because I love perving on the young ladies, I have evolved unlike some men

The campaigners will tell you it sexualises children, it encourages men to commit heinous and depraved sexual crimes and makes women somehow lower class citizens.

Wrong, wrong and wrong. Plenty of grown ups today followed my path, saw page three but had parents to explain the differences between the male and female body but how as a man you should respect women.

And page three is to blame for some of the vile crimes committed against women? Do me a favour, any man that commits these vile and depraved crimes is sick in the head already.

Women are lower class citizens – nope, none of these women have been forced onto page three, bound and gagged. They have chosen to do it, none of them are porn stars, they are real women with real bodies.

If Jacob saw page three when he was older, I want to be able to sit down and explain that while the paper has chosen to print that, he as a man has a duty to respect all women and their bodies.

I don't want my son growing up in a world where bodies of both sexes are hidden. It's not about sexaualising children but helping them understand at an early age that while the human body is desirable it must be respected.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone, my sole intention is express my opinion