Pam's last day at work

ANOTHER landmark reached today as my dear wife is currently halfway through her last shift at work before maternity leave.

To say she is both excited to be stopping - no more early mornings for a few weeks and no standing on her feet all day - is an understatement.

But also she is rather sad and a little nervous about going off into the great unknown, you see Pam always has to be at her work, she enjoys holidays yes but she is a worker.

I think it is the fear of the unknown as well, she has never been in this position and perhaps early nerves about becoming a mum?

We are both very excited about welcoming J into the world but nervous as well, understandable for first time parents or just us being silly?

She has made so many wonderful friends, to say they are not colleagues but friends now shows what lovely people they are and I thank them for being the people they are and for being so supportive during her pregnancy.

It's wonderful to think they will be friends beyond Pam's days in the shop, even if she does not go back.

The issue of whether she does or doesn't is totally down to Pam, I have little say in it because call me old fashioned, I think a mum should decide whether to go back to work or not.

She has carried and given birth to J, if she wants to be a SAHM then great, if she wants to go and do a few hours then great too.

It's nothing to do with me! All I hope is she has a rest and does the things she wants to do while on maternity leave

NCT Session 3 - Caring for Baby

SO THAT'S it, we are ready to be parents!

Three NCT sessions done and dusted with all the skills we may need for labour, birth and the early days.

Am I ready? Nope! But that is not the fault of Isabelle who hosted a fabulous course.

Saturday's session began with taking a look at bathing a baby, changing nappies, sleeping, swaddling and baby wearing.

It was great to finally get my hands on a nappy, albeit around a doll and not a wriggly baby and whose contents were artificial not real!.

I wasn't as fingers and thumbs as I expected but more practice on the old co-ordination is needed, as expected the mums to be were all experts first time...

What was pleasing was Isabelle did go into more detail about bottle feeding and the session really did show

that whatever way you feed your baby, you will do a good job.

After a very lovely pizza lunch, we split up and discussed how the arrival of our babies would impact on us.

Suffice to say sleep, cheeky nights with DVD and wine are now probably out unless J is a heavy sleeper who loves a routine!

What I found really useful was a session with my fellow dads to be to discuss impending fatherhood and how we really can be involved in a major way.

That is the pleasing thing about these sessions, yes they are very female focused but with the right tutor dads are made to feel very important.

The highlight though was a visit from three new mums and dads and their little babies! A huge thanks to all three for sharing their first time experiences and answering a load of questions!

Mother Nature nearly brought on a few labours though with an amazing thunder and lightening blast very close to the venue which sounded like an explosion.

No waters were broken though and the babies on the outside didn't flinch at all, I guess they really do have no fear.

The honesty with which the new parents spoke about labour, birth, breastfeeding and the early days was amazing and really topped off a lovely course.

Dads, sometimes it's a little mum focused but if you are a first timer, book a place on a course near you, you won't regret what you learn and the friends you make.

We both have made some really good friends as a result, next stop BABY!

Why is it still 'acceptable' for the dads to moan about birth?

BE warned, this could be a very angry blog. I have just read the biggest load of rubbish I have ever seen from a gentleman called Neil Lyndon called 'Why dads should keep their distance from the delivery room'.

I won't provide a link as I only do so for things that make sense, are informative or at least provide a service. This does neither.

Basically in summary, it was yet another 'how agonising it was for me as a dad to be to see all that going on'.

Oh poor you, it must have been so dreadful after suffering for the whole nine months with all sorts of things.

Oh wait no, she was the one that grew, your contribution to the first nine months was to ejaculate!

The muppet reveals he has had a 'multitude of marriages', not a surprise given how 'supportive' he is to the mothers of this children.

On the afterbirth he commented: “Dear God there's another one arriving”. Yes because a human looks exactly like a bag of blood and veins and it's not like you have a scan or anything to check the contents of her womb...

I know as a first time dad it may be unpleasant, I will see things I have never prepared for and yes it could make me feel a tad unwell.

But blimey, compared to what Pam will be undergoing my role will be a breeze – something Neil Lyndon will not understand.

Again it seems acceptable to say 'hey chaps, going to be a bit unpleasant so why should you have to be in there.'

No concept of responsibility, you put the child in there, you ought to step up and be a man and be there when it comes out.

Too many kids grow up without a father, sometimes because it's the best thing I accept that entirely, but sometimes its because the little boys that fertilise women can't step up.

Articles like this only help reinforce that: if it's OK to miss the birth then it's ok to leave the parrenting to the women.

I won't be any hero at the birth, I am not claiming it's heroic, noble or brave for a bloke to be there.

I would have just been witness to a wonderful moment and maybe yes become a man at long last.

Anyway rant over...