In praise of the NHS - part two

I'VE put part two as I am pretty sure I have wrote good things about the NHS on this blog before....

Part of the wonderful experience of being new parents was the care we had from the midwives and surgeons at Worcestershire Royal Hospital.

From Pam Jones and her team the weekend before Jacob was born, to Ellie, Ali and Katie after his arrival, Pam was in safe hands throughout her time in hospital.

Midwives are the unsung heroes of the NHS, we were so well looked after from actual care to them just sitting and talking for a moment or two answering our newbie questions!

Ellie was wonderful on the delivery date itself, looked after Pam all the way into theatre and kept nice and calm when Jacob was born and needed just a little help to get started.

Even when she was called away to care for another lady in labour, she found the time to come back at the end of her shift and apologise - even though she was sharing her talents and helping another woman bring new life into the world.

The post natal staff were just as wonderful, they could not have done more to help Pam breastfeed but sadly Jacob was too laid back to latch on. A problem he still has now when he has his bottle!

But the care was exceptional, support and advice was forever on hand despite the ward being busier than Kings Cross at rush hour on numerous occasions.

It makes you appreciate what we have for free in this country, the NHS is an institution which needs to be modernised and nursed back to health.

To all midwives, I salute you. To all those who helped us from August 13 to August 16 I thank you on behalf of Pam and of the not so little Jacob!

Our First Days as a Mummy and Daddy

WE SURVIVED!! Well we have for the first two weeks anyway. Mission one of parenting, don’t kill it has been achieved!

It’s been an eye-opening two weeks, funny because a lot of the time Jacob kept his eyes closed!!!!

And everybody who said it would turn my world upside down was absolutely correct, life as we know it changed massively on August 14.

The biggest lesson I have learned though is to watch my son, his cues nearly always give a guide as to what he wants at that moment.

Oh and to not panic, those early days when they cry for no apparent reason can sometimes solved with more feeds, especially if they are trying to regain their birth weight as Jacob has been.

The Sunday night after we came home saw both of us have meltdowns, it’s only the next day we looked at things and realised he was just after another feed!

Hindsight is very important for new parents!

I’ve learned a lot about myself, especially if I relax and let my instinct take over I am actually quite good at taking care of him.

I have also learned that there is another level above love, I love Pam and would do anything for her but Jacob….just looking at him sleep can make me feel WOW

To any dads to be, some advice:

-          ALWAYS sleep when they sleep when you get home, you will need it and it’s amazing how the extra power gained with a lunchtime nap sustains you during the 3am feed.

-          Tackle nappies as soon as you can, they don’t smell during the first few days so it’s a good chance to hone the changing skill before the smelly ones arrive.

-          Being weed on is a badge of honour, you can learn to try and block it but the clever so and so’s work around it…

-          Try and do as much as you can for your beloved, it will be appreciated.

-          If you need to go out in first few days after you come home, walk to the shop if you can. Fresh air is wonderful and you might feel a little spaced out.

-          Be prepared your normally sharp brain may be a little fuzzy,  for example you might go to the bank to pay a cheque in and forget to take your wallet……

But most importantly, enjoy it! It’s a wonderful voyage of discovery and one I am so glad I brought a ticket for!

Welcome Jacob Edward James George

THURSDAY, August 14 was quite simply the best day of my life as it saw the birth of Jacob via c-section.

I have tried to sit down many times to record the day with a blog but don’t feel I ever had the words until now, two weeks on.

After an overnight stay, I got to Worcestershire Royal for just after 8am, Pam had already been seen by the anaesthetist who was friendly and very calming influence.

The surgeons who would perform the c-section arrived soon after and were again very professional and personable.

They asked us if we knew the sex as apparently they had done a c-section before and announced the arrival of a baby girl, to blank faces from mum and dad who did not know what they were having!

A quick scan confirmed Jacob was indeed breech still and then it was a slow walk to the theatre, Pam went for her spinal block while I changed into some delightful scrubs. Don’t worry, no pictures exist of how I looked!

Pretty soon it was time for me to go in, I thought I would go a bit weak seeing all the equipment but a very calm state descended over me.

The lovely midwife popped me on a chair next to Pam’s head and once the anaesthetic did its thing it was time to bring Jacob into the world.

Apart from a bit of pulling, you wouldn’t have known what was taking place and then came the moment that will live with me forever.

Jacob was born and held above the partition for us to see, our gorgeous little boy melted both our hearts by looking straight at his mummy!

He was checked over and didn’t go pink as quickly as they would have liked, of course as soon as the paediatric nurse was paged he soon responded.

But I was soon asked to go over and say hello and cut the remainder of the cord, a nice touch by the hospital to ensure the dad can experience the sensation.

I did think it would be very spongy but it’s actually really gristly and tough, comforting in a way to know something so hard-wearing fed him for nine months!

After a short while in recovery, including plenty of male bonding, we were back in delivery (no rooms in the antenatal inn) and I got to speak to family and friends and let them know the good news.

Dads, give yourself a minute before you call people to let them know, I spent a good minute just rambling with excitement!

We ended the first day on antenatal, I handled the first two nappies which any new dad MUST do, as you get the badge of honour of being weed on then!

All in all it was a momentous day which Pam and I won’t forget in a hurry, 10.31am on 14/08/14  is a moment I will treasure forever

Dear Jacob

WELL son, today's the day.

Thursday, August 14 will be your birthday and while me and your mum didn't expect things to happen like this we can't wait to meet you.

We've had a wonderful journey since your mum came bounding into the bedroom in January to say you were on the way.

From the first scan where you had everything you should have and were healthy to the 20 week scan where we found you were a Jacob, it's a been a voyage of discovery.

You have entertained us with your movements, your obliging nature every time a midwife needed to listen to your heartbeat and your kicks whenever I seemingly spoke.

But you have grown healthy and seemingly happy despite mummy's diabetes (I'll fill you in on it all when you are a little older).

And now it's time to come join us on the outside. Sorry about that but you have to admit there is hardly any room where you are now!

You'll see a light tomorrow little man and some hands, don't be afraid. He is there to help you out into the world and see me and your mum.

She'll be the one lying down, she not being lazy just staying still because of reasons you don't need to know yet. Let's just say if you like sunroofs it won't be a surprise.....

As for me, I will be the one looking and asking questions. Not because I'm a journalist but because I'm nosey.

I won't lie to you mate, I will probably be blubbing but hey I guess you will as well so anything to make you feel at home.

There's plenty to discover little man, I can't wait to share the journey with you.

Oh and in case I forget to say it, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And then there was Sunday...

OUR mad weekend continued with a trip into hospital on Sunday for some steroid injections to get J's lungs up to speed for the c-section on Thursday.

After driving through a monsoon, we were settled in by Pam Jones and her wonderful team at Worcestershire Royal Hospital's delivery suite and the day was mapped out.

Two steroid injections 12 hours apart and should she be OK then discharge on Monday, apart from being on a insulin drip to regulate her diabetes as steroids can make her blood sugars go funny.

Early blood sugar readings were good and while rather painful, the steroid injection passed without incident so after some lunch I was dispatched to Walsall to see my mum and spend time with my dad on his actual birthday.

I came back for the second injection, blood sugars were all good and the second injection passed without alarm. I left on Sunday night full of hope Pam would be back with me at home on Monday afternoon at latest.

HOWEVER, after going into work to get my mind off things on Monday morning I had a call. Jacob was showing to be rather disgruntled on the CTG and I should get over there.

Redditch to Worcester has never gone so quick....of course when I got there the scene was complete calm, his disgruntled state had once again returned to complete calm, the opposite of daddy!

Long story short, he wasn't distressed as babies don't return to calm once distressed but he was unhappy with something and may have tugged his cord or clasped it between his legs or even got tangled up briefly.

Suffice to say a Monday discharge looked unlikely but J seemed to sense mummy was a little upset and when the CTG was repeated at 1pm he was very happy, plenty of gymnastics and content heartbeat.

So we were evicted at 3pm! Mummy Smurf came back to her castle with instructions to return to the hospital at 8pm on Wednesday.

Jacob, you will be evicted on Thursday, no sooner please! We have a CTG again at 12.30pm today, please behave for it!

One mad weekend

FORGIVE me for being quiet but blimey what a weird and at times wonderful weekend.

Firstly I put together J's crib and changing table which just look lovely, would certainly recommend Cosatto Easi Peasi changer.

Very 'Easi Peasi' to set up and it looks very colorful and bold in the corner of Jacob's room. Looking forward to getting to use it next weekend all being well.

We then had the mental situation of a magpie in the chimney breast....yes a magpie. I should explain that on Wednesday night we thought we heard a bird in the chimney which turned out to be a large amount of soot which came crashing down the chimney.

Anyway on Saturday we heard a scratching noise which got louder and louder. On my hands and knees under the fire I then saw a beak....bricking it doesn't do justice to how I felt!

I phone the emergency gas engineers to no avail until Pam shouted up to me he had wriggled his way out and was walking round the front room!

An open door and our house guest soon took his leave! After we calmed down we travelled to Perry Barr to see my dad for his 70th birthday and take him, my aunt and uncle and my godparents to the greyhounds.

I had hoped to win enough to give up work and stay home with Jacob and his mummy forever but sadly doubt I will get by on £23 profit on the night.

A wonderful time was had by all though and was the perfect way to bring to an end our time as a two, the next social occasion will be a three!

And then there was Sunday...but that can come on the next blog.....

I'm going to be a dad......IN SIX DAYS!

SO off we went to the consultant this morning for another scan, full of confidence that we had the next two weeks before baby's arrival....

Just over an hour later, we walked out having been told we would meet the not so little Jacob in just SIX DAYS.

The scan went well and everything is healthy with the boy but he has had a bit of a growth spurt and maybe even as much as 8lb 13oz now.

Still we thought we might be ok but in with the consultant obstetrician everything became clear. J is breech still despite his clear wander down into her pelvis the other day he's gone back to his comfy position.

The wonderful Mrs Duckett at Worcestershire Royal explained the risks very well, she is concerned about the weight he could put on between now and August 22. But also a normal delivery could cause shoulder dystocia. So she suggested a c-section and next Thursday (August 14).

Pam has to go to hospital this weekend for steroid injections to ensure his lungs are up to speed ready for the big arrival and sometime on Thursday he will be with us.

How do I feel? A tiny bit disappointed it has ended this way but to be honest the wonderful Mrs Duckett was simply superb in how she tackled it, she is a credit to the NHS and has offered to try and turn J on Monday if Pam want's to attempt a natural birth.

I am excited though because I will be holding my little boy on Thursday, our pregnancy journey is almost at an end and a fantastic voyage of discovery is about to begin.

The Daddy Smurf is about to welcome Baby Smurf!

Breasts, pumps and blogger meet ups!

LAST Friday I was invited by blogger extraordinare Emma Harris aka @MeTheManAndBaby to the breastfeeding group run by the Vale of Evesham NCT.

I'm not going to lie, the offer of cake was also a factor but I have never met any of my fellow bloggers and having one on the doorstep, well it seemed rude not to.

Seriously though, I was also asked along to consider a feature for the paper and I am delighted to say Jane Watson-Davis, the organiser has already got in touch with some information.

What I found was a lovely welcoming group where mums were comfortable feeding and got the help and support they needed.

What really came over though is the potential for easing the minds of new mums when it comes to breastfeeding.

Groups like this allow mums to ask questions and not worry or have to go to the doctor with a 'concern' which turns out to be perfectly normal.

Surely that is a good thing? I was also chuffed to see a few dads on hand as well, we might not have the boobies but we can be useful hehe.

A lovely feature is the NCT also run a group next door for the older children, meaning once they are no longer baby and toddlers they can still be involved with their new little brother or sister.

And mums to be were also there to get used to the group before baby arrives, Jane recommended anyone who wants to breastfeed get along to an NCT breastfeeding group before birth to say hello.

I reckon they only do it though to have a look at the bumps!

I also got to hold little Charlotte Harris and over the moon she didn't burst out crying when handed to me, as most babies usually do when passed to the 'Childcatcher' LOL.

It was a bit worrying when she went looking for food, my man breasts are a little flabby but I have not seen milk yet!

My talents also extended to making another little boy smile, maybe the little people have accepted I will be a father so won't be crying in my presence from now on?

All in all a fabulous time, Emma even kindly invited Mummy Smurf to the next one, we might yet take her up on that offer

Hang on, I never got any cake!

I'm sure you don't need the address but do visit @MeTheManAndBaby and her blog at www.methemanandthebaby.co.uk 

Fame at last for the Daddy Smurf!

SOME of you might have seen one of my Twitter ramblings was given national exposure last Thursday night during One Born Every Minute on 4Seven, one of Channel Four's vast family of digital channels.

To say I am still rather hyper about this is an understatement, I can't believe many of you respond to my ramblings let alone a national broadcaster picking a tweet out to show during a programme!

My thanks for 4Seven for showing it during One Born Every Minute, a show which I am beginning to find really does polarise opinion.

For every mum who enjoys it there seems to be one that rolls their eyes and dismisses at as nonense or 'not representative of what really happens'.

But isn't that the case for all such programmes? Not many are going to show the calm delivery, controlled pushing and the joyous and peaceful moment the baby arrives – that isn't 'entertainment'.

No you want to see the screaming, the silly comments, the much vaunted 'back story' – that drives the emotion which leads to more viewers and more 'entertaining' TV.

I will speak up for One Born though, since beginning to watch it I have seen a good selection of birth experiences, from the screamers and the ranters and ravers to the calm serene births.

I do think they do choose entertainment over real life but the selection of births they have screened is good. Remember they can only show the women who consent and want to be involved!

From our experience, Pam drew a lot of confidence from a couple of the ladies who stood up to deliver, seeing it happen can inspire a mum to be to believe they can do it themselves.

Programmes like One Born aren't gospel, you take what you want out of it as a viewer. Whatever your opinion on it, surely that is a good thing?

Four weeks to go...

JUST one month left, one month before our lives change forever! It only seems like two minutes ago since an excited wife came bounding into the bedroom clutching a little bit of plastic with a blue cross.

Fast forward and the cause of that blue cross is now a living, breathing, wriggly little human who is exploring his house in great detail.

J has been breech for about 10 days and was on the last scan but over the weekend it appears our little boy is bored of the new position he found and is off discovering where else he can visit. Of course he never forgets to either lie on or push his feet against that lovely squishy thing next door (aka mummy's bladder)

In the last few weeks I have marvelled at how much her belly moves when he does, yes at first all you can think of is the Alien movies but after a while it's a source of wonder.

I will miss his little thumps and kicks when he is with us, my tummy time is the highlight of the day some days for me, Pam insists he often is soothed by hearing my voice although I highly doubt it - I've never soothed in my life!

Things are progressing so well on his room, we ordered the carpet on Saturday and it's being delivered and fitted TODAY (Monday) such speedy service!

We also brought a Cosatto changing table from the lovely staff at Babies R Us in Oldbury at the weekend who kindly brought the box down so I could see if it would fit in the back of our little KA.

Pictures to come, my DIY skills are to be employed this coming weekend so expect complete disaster and much swearing!

It's time the spare room became spare once again and not Baby J's warehouse of stock we have brought, been given, stole (only joking)

Because four weeks from now, the room will have a little person in it....

I'm thinking of a career change

WOO HOO 50 POSTS!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway now that is out of the way, I can start talking sense...what do you mean that would make a change???

I'VE had a strange feeling the last few days, the feeling that I want to leave my career behind and go down a different path, that of a male antenatal teacher.

This experience preparing us for J's arrival has really opened my eyes and shown me what an important role dads have for their partners through the pregnancy, birth and beyond.

But I have also seen how men can become disconnected with the process, like when you are virtually ignored at midwive appointments and the like.

And I don't know whether it's the giddyness of becoming a dad or just frustration with my current job as a local journalist but I really am thinking of retraining to become an antenatal teacher.

I have had so much help from the likes of Dean Beaumont at DaddyNatal and through the NCT course it has made me think what I can do to help other men becoming dads for the first time.

Without both courses I would be really dense about parenthood and while I appreciate there are many great dads like my good friend Craig aka @ADayInThisDadsLife who did no classes at all, some men (me) do need to learn the basics before baby's arrival.

It was interesting to talk about it at our most recent NCT class and even more so to find Isabelle our teacher was in full support and questioned why there were not more male antenatal teachers in the UK.

Pregnancy highlights the difference between the sexes in my opinion. Women are concerned about their changing body but begin to bond with their baby from a very early stage and obviously have all the attention, as they should.

Men are congratulated and have to make the connection themselves such as touching her belly and talking to the bump but experience no body changes other than the well known sympathy belly...that's my excuse anyway!

It's easy for a man to become disconnected and not involved, none of the changes actually happen to you but there is so much you can do be a great dad before your baby is even born.

I've learned that and do feel like I want to maybe pass on my knowledge to other dads to be, a brave move I know and could be a silly idea but hey, it would be a radical career change!

My biggest fear is...

NAPPIES, there I said it. I am not scared of not feeding him, killing him, exposing him to a deadly virus (ooo someone watched too much 24!) but I am frightened about changing J's bum.

The amount of nappy related dreams I have had this pregnancy has now caused  a real fear, from putting it on the wrong way to not being able to seal it up - I think I am going to be a disaster in the blast zone.

Everything looks just so fiddly and combine that with a wriggly baby, it is the recipe for disaster.

I had the chance to tackle one (on a doll but they all count) at the NCT class and was so fingers and thumbs I swear the plastic child on the changing met did another wee while I was fiddling about!

I need to practice before J's arrival and have contemplating asking my Twitter friends if I can pop round when it's bum change time but realised that would be a jolly good way to lose said friends....

I am stuck, I am throwing myself on the blogging fraternity here to ask for tips and advice but please can someone tell me they felt exactly the same when their partners were pregnant.

I think it's because the feeding will probably be taken care of by Pam herself, I am viewing tackling the end zone as my role in this parental comedy.

The worse thing is I am not actually bothered or even thought about what smells await yet or getting weed on, not that I have fetish for that sort of thing you understand! More that these 'worries' have taken so much of my time up I haven't yet contemplated what delights J has stored up for me.

Any help or support would be greatly appreciated and if anyone has the number for Nappy Changers Anonymous that would be great....

I did find this thanks to Tesco Baby Club so anyone with the same fear, here's a stress reliever of sorts! http://www.tesco.com/babyclub/baby/changing/how_to_change_a_disposable_nappy.page

Pam's last day at work

ANOTHER landmark reached today as my dear wife is currently halfway through her last shift at work before maternity leave.

To say she is both excited to be stopping - no more early mornings for a few weeks and no standing on her feet all day - is an understatement.

But also she is rather sad and a little nervous about going off into the great unknown, you see Pam always has to be at her work, she enjoys holidays yes but she is a worker.

I think it is the fear of the unknown as well, she has never been in this position and perhaps early nerves about becoming a mum?

We are both very excited about welcoming J into the world but nervous as well, understandable for first time parents or just us being silly?

She has made so many wonderful friends, to say they are not colleagues but friends now shows what lovely people they are and I thank them for being the people they are and for being so supportive during her pregnancy.

It's wonderful to think they will be friends beyond Pam's days in the shop, even if she does not go back.

The issue of whether she does or doesn't is totally down to Pam, I have little say in it because call me old fashioned, I think a mum should decide whether to go back to work or not.

She has carried and given birth to J, if she wants to be a SAHM then great, if she wants to go and do a few hours then great too.

It's nothing to do with me! All I hope is she has a rest and does the things she wants to do while on maternity leave

NCT Session 3 - Caring for Baby

SO THAT'S it, we are ready to be parents!

Three NCT sessions done and dusted with all the skills we may need for labour, birth and the early days.

Am I ready? Nope! But that is not the fault of Isabelle who hosted a fabulous course.

Saturday's session began with taking a look at bathing a baby, changing nappies, sleeping, swaddling and baby wearing.

It was great to finally get my hands on a nappy, albeit around a doll and not a wriggly baby and whose contents were artificial not real!.

I wasn't as fingers and thumbs as I expected but more practice on the old co-ordination is needed, as expected the mums to be were all experts first time...

What was pleasing was Isabelle did go into more detail about bottle feeding and the session really did show

that whatever way you feed your baby, you will do a good job.

After a very lovely pizza lunch, we split up and discussed how the arrival of our babies would impact on us.

Suffice to say sleep, cheeky nights with DVD and wine are now probably out unless J is a heavy sleeper who loves a routine!

What I found really useful was a session with my fellow dads to be to discuss impending fatherhood and how we really can be involved in a major way.

That is the pleasing thing about these sessions, yes they are very female focused but with the right tutor dads are made to feel very important.

The highlight though was a visit from three new mums and dads and their little babies! A huge thanks to all three for sharing their first time experiences and answering a load of questions!

Mother Nature nearly brought on a few labours though with an amazing thunder and lightening blast very close to the venue which sounded like an explosion.

No waters were broken though and the babies on the outside didn't flinch at all, I guess they really do have no fear.

The honesty with which the new parents spoke about labour, birth, breastfeeding and the early days was amazing and really topped off a lovely course.

Dads, sometimes it's a little mum focused but if you are a first timer, book a place on a course near you, you won't regret what you learn and the friends you make.

We both have made some really good friends as a result, next stop BABY!

NCT Session 2 - Breastfeeding

BOOBS, nipples and poo filled my Saturday morning yet it's still almost six weeks until J graces us with his presence.

Yes, it was time for the breastfeeding session of the NCT antenatal classes and yet again what an eye opener for this rather dense dad to be.

I started the sessions thinking I knew a fair bit, well ok just enough education to perform my duties, but turns I am a complete newbie.

Again the teacher was lovely, breastfeeding consultant Alison Needham was a delight, very passionate about her subject but not one-eyed enough to suggest the mums to be would be murdering their child slowly if they didn't breastfeed!

She breastfed her three sons and is very knowledgeable about the subject but has a great way in walking mums to be through the process, breaking down what clearly is an emotional rollercoaster for mums desperate to breastfeed and also desperate not to 'fail'.

We learned a lot about the stages of breast milk from the colostrum to the proper milk and she walked us through a typical day, using cue cards at relevant times.

One of the cards mentioned unexpected visitors who want to be waited on hand and foot - let me tell you now any visitor in the first month who expects that will be pointed to the kitchen themselves!

Now, I am going to get dirty...not in the way you are all thinking you mucky pups!

See one of the cards also said 'Matthew' (the imaginary baby used in this day) had done a poo and it had gone 'all up his back'.

This was quite a shock, I know the brown stuff is going to be catastrophically smelly but did think from the adverts for nappies any explosion would be contained, clearly not!

I clearly need more preparation in that area! After a short break us dads got together to discuss certain situations which all just need a little common sense approach but it's good to hear we are all pretty much in the same boat.

We were then treated to a video about breastfeeding, again I never quite knew how a baby actually did it but I do now!

I would say it was far more useful for Pam than for me but certainly opened my eyes and that is never a bad thing, thanks to Alison for her time and expertise.

One more session to go then apparently we will be 'ready' for parenthood, eeek!

A DaddyNatal class to remember

ONE of the highlights of the Baby Show for me was a class by Dean Beaumont, founder of DaddyNatal, classes about pregnancy and birth for dads, by a dad.

Dean has three children and it's clear from the taster session we enjoyed at the Baby Show the full class is geared for blokes and how we can be the very best we can be during labour, birth and beyond.

One of the biggest messages I took away is I cannot fix what might happen, no matter how heavy my desire to do so as a man.

I have to be her advocate and her protector.

ADVOCATE - ensure her 'preferences' are listened to and adhered to (don't do a birth plan fellas, you can't plan childbirth, come up with preferences instead)

PROTECTOR - once the action gets going, protect that carefully crafted environment to ensure oxytocin and endorphins flow naturally while the biggest source of naughty adrenaline (me) basically doesn't exude any!.

It was a fascinating 45 minutes and at the conclusion I spoke to Dean for an article I wrote for the paper I edit which you can read here - http://www.eveshamobserver.co.uk/2014/07/14/news-Picking-up-all-you-need---and-a-lot-of-advice-111619.html

Newspaper articles are forever constained by word limits so I have reproduced the quotes from the interview here

"With the birth of my first, I had done traditional antenatal classes and we went through the birth. It wasn’t a particularly traumatic birth but I came out of it feeling guilty," he told me.

“That then affected the bonding with my son, I then looked at what I had I missed, what had I done wrong and came to the conclusion I hadn’t done anything wrong.

“There was nothing out there to prepare me, from there I went off, did my diploma, did my research and then we started and formed DaddyNatal.”

"It’s all about understanding on how we can best support our families so within the full class we look at the pregnancy, what is happening during the pregnancy, what mum is going through in the pregnancy.

"We look at what us men worry about, what the mums worry about so we get an understanding about that. It’s then on to our role during labour and birth and the post-natally as well we look at the things we have to be aware of and the changes for us and the mum.

“We also do the practical thing like learning how to swaddle, lean about baby wearing. Its all about how all of us make it work together as a family.

“I felt most of the classes I went to was about mum with a little bit thrown in for dad.

“Society has changed and because of this dads have been thrust into the birthing environment but without anyone supporting us to be there.

"Michel Odent came out four years ago and said dads have no place in the delivery room because we can be detrimental and we can be because the adrenillin we can create.

"Therefore if we going to propely support mum we are going to need to properly support dad so he does have a positive effect on the birth and not a negative one.

"We are not there yet, we obviously have different experiences across the country, but it is improving it is getting better but there is still a lot that more that can be done.

"I take it one stage further, I still think brands have a lot to answer for because still within the baby industry brands are very much focused on mums.

"If we had more positive images of dad roles within products it would be more generally accepted that we are talking about a family rather than mum and dad as separate units."

To try and help dads to be like me, I asked Dean for his three top tips to help us get through the biggest change we have ever experienced.

"Firstly, its about preparation, make sure you are prepared, make sure you understand, make sure you have your birth preferences sorted out.

“Secondly, its always about being honest, sometimes as dads if we are criticised we can withdraw, there is no room for withdrawing, we have got to step up, not in a manly way but be prepared to admit if we are unsure or uncertain and look for help.

“Thirdly, at the end of the day just remember we are all on a learning curve but its about our family, forget other people lets focus on what is right for you as a family and make your decisions based n that but always make an informed decision.

I would strongly recommend you buy 'The Expectant Dads Handbook' by the man himself (pic below) because fellas, everything you want to know but afraid to ask is in there in a language we understand!

Fantastic experience and a wonderful opportunity for me to learn from a dad who is clearly passionate about ensuring dads know as much as mums.

Visit www.daddynatal.co.uk for more information

NCT Session 1 - Labour and Birth

SO we are through to the other side of our first NCT antenatal session and it was rather an eye opener to say the least.

Teacher Isabelle Karimov is welcoming and warm as were the other six couples joining Pam and I for the experience.

After the initial ‘how do you do’s’ we were asked to split into mums and dads for what we wanted to get out of the course.

Being blokes we were a) practical and b) worried about asking the wrong question for fear of incurring the wrath of our heavily pregnant beloveds so came up with five points.

Of course the mums to be did more, they split it into categories and everything – the only thing missing was some sort of colour coding!

Anyway discussions were had, we went first to a relatively positive reception and some amusement was had one of the mums to be said they feared about ‘losing their figures’. The mum to be expressed her opinion she was surprised we hadn’t mentioned anything about it.

I became alpha male for the first time EVER and gently explained we felt it was more than our life’s worth to have said such a thing!

Discussions on the build up to labour and birth itself were again informative and led us to discover more about the placenta.

Now don’t get me wrong I adore the placenta, it’s feeding J, sorting out all the good stuff for him to enjoy and yes it’s a play thing for my son if he gets bored of growing, eating and sleeping.

But hearing people actually eat it, mmmm that’s one step too far for me and hearing from one couple their friend FROZE theirs after the birth of their baby was also rather ‘interesting’.

By the way, their baby is now four….

After an enjoyable lunch of chatting and nice food, we went on to look at various pain reliefs and positions for birth and I even got to roll a tennis ball up and down Pam’s back…

Given my skill with it I am apparently Britain’s number two tennis player but I digress…..

Pictures of labour and birth (don’t worry fellas, nothing too graphic) concluded a rather fun day for daddy, mummy and hopefully J although he slept throughout.

Overall is it worth it, yes I think it is, you meet nice people, all of whom are in the same situation as you and crucially due around the same time as you.

The Bumps and Babies magazine (below) is very useful as is the antenatal pack (below) and certainly worth a read.

Bring on the breast……feeding session next week!