Being a dad - six months on!

SO it’s been six months since we became parents. And the good news is we haven’t damaged Jacob in anyway! I’m sure I wasn't alone in thinking in the delivery room, what if I break him?

But, as with most things in fatherhood you soon realise your worries are just frankly ridiculous!

What it has been has been a voyage of discovery and learning, of sleepless nights and fun-filled days.

Nothing in life can prepare you for the actual job of fatherhood, you can learn lots about babycare but nothing prepares you for the emotional hit of holding your own child.

What have I learned? A load, both about myself, about patience and the joy of baby watching. Come on dads, we have all done it, just stopped and watched how our little ones go about their day.

Jacob is just a delight, especially now at six months where he is babbling away and developing a really funny personality. His favourite trick at the moment appears to be looking all sad at either me or his mum.

When he inevitably gets out attention, the cheeky little scamp either smiles so warmly or turns away quickly with a sudden bout of ‘shyness’.

I’ve also learned nothing really matters, a bad day at work can be resolved the moment you walk through the door.

I have been so blessed that as well as a healthy baby, I have the most fabulous wife, a woman born to be a mother and a true natural. But then again I am biased!!!

From the early days of neither of us knowing what the heck we were doing to now, it’s been a wonderful journey so far, long may it continue.

So for those dads to be, let me share some wisdom. Firstly, be there for the birth and see what you want to see, those precious first seconds will be burned on your memory forever

Secondly, get involved in feeding and nappies: Jacob weed on me not once but twice on his first day in the world,  a badge of honour!

Thirdly, during your paternity leave, make sure you do as much round the house as you can, it’s a good chance to learn something new!

And finally, when your baby and your partner/wife sleep, make sure you do as well or at least chill out on the sofa!

Thank you for the memories son, here’s to so many more

 

If you find breastfeeding 'offensive' you're a tit

SO it 's been a normal Monday morning, going through my tweets, catching up with e-mails and the like when I stumble across this.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11195373/Facebook-removes-mothers-breastfeeding-photo.html

And to say it makes me angry and spoils my Monday morning is an understatement. I know as a bloke I shouldn't get angry as much but I am fed up reading how people find breastfeeding 'offensive' and how mums are banned from shops for doing it.

For crying out loud it will soon be 2015, can we not as human beings differentiate between breasts being used to feed a hungry little human and basic public nudity. It's not like the poor mum in the story was sitting there with her breasts out with a 'come and have a go on these' look on her face!!!!!!!!.

The same goes for the mums banned/asked to stop feeding in shops, every mum I have encountered breastfeeding does it with varying degrees of privacy, from the full on shawl to a slight turn away or a lift up of a shirt. You see nothing and to be honest if you find it sexual you need your head seeing to, if you find it 'vulgar' then sorry you're a prude.

We went to an NCT reunion the other weekend and I turned round inadvertently and ended up with a full view of nipple seconds before a little person began his lunch. I was slightly embarrassed but only because I've got to know the mum and her husband really well but offended no - it's just a little person's lunch/dinner being offered!

My point being is you cannot consider something natural as offensive, mums up and down the land aren't walking around in public with their breasts hanging out. I'm no hippy, far from it but please let's grow up here.

The internet is full of offensive things, let's spend more time complaining about innocent British men being be-headed and the video being shared on Facebook and YouTube than mums doing what mums do best, looking after their babies.

The guilt of being a working dad

I don't know if any other dad feels this, I might be the only one but I want to share it in the hope I might not be the only one.

Since Jacob was born, I've been on top of the world, happy, thrilled I have been blessed with such a healthy and happy child.

I've loved every minute, even when he was screaming the place down the first time I was left alone with him!

I've learned a lot about myself and also learned a lot about how to interact with him and help him.

But throughout I have been hit by guilt, the guilt of missing out on special moments and most importantly the guilt of being a 'part-time' dad.

Working as a journalist I normally do 9am to 5.30pm and I don't mind that, but it's the after hours meetings and events I need to sometimes attend which start me off.

I fear Pam is going to feel trapped and doing everything for Jacob, that she has no break when I am out until 9/10pm at night.

Take last Monday for example, I left the house at 8.15am to get to work, did a full day, drove to a council meeting, covered that and then was wanted for some after meetings chats.

I didn't walk back through my front door until 9.10pm, by which time Pam was feeding Jacob his pre bed milk and would be going to bed herself.

So of course I felt guilty she had been with him all day and I hadn't helped at all....

But here's the thing, Pam is utterly supportive and loving about it, she emphasises she can only do that 

BECAUSE I am working and bringing the money home.

She has never once moaned I was away from home, she's been totally brilliant.

I spoke to my dad, who was fantastic and reminded me that I might not think it but I am doing a very important role, bringing the money in to keep a roof over our heads.

And I do get what they are saying, I do. But I still feel yukky and that I am not doing enough to be a hands on and supportive daddy and husband.

Dads? Did you feel like this? Can anyone help me stop feeling so guilty?

Smiling and other wonderful discoveries

THE most wonderful moment of recent weeks has been Jacob smiling away at both me and his mummy.

After the initial ones which you put down to wind, the moment he smiles lightens my world and makes it a simply wonderful place.

I haven't yet captured it on camera as I altenate between smiling and laughing back at him and simply beam with pride at yet another little development in his life.

There are so many recent examples I could share but my favourite has to be anytime he smiles and then lets out a happy laugh like sound.

Just after a milk feed last Saturday, we were in front of the television and he was switching between staring at this box, looking out the window and back at me.

He looked, he smiled and then was so delighted with his effort he let out the happiest sound.

Other developments in the last few weeks have been an increase in babbling, he's realised he can make different sounds now so we get 'ooohs' 'bahhhhhhh' 'aaaaaahhhhhhh' and all sorts of other wonderful sounds.

And I am delighted to say he now goes on his playmat and plays with the various toys in and around him and doesn't throw up as was his want in the early weeks.

I never realised the pleasure in simply listening to him as he goes about learning about his surroundings.

And of course talking to him is such a joy, especially when he looks and goes 'ooooooooooooooooooo' back!

Development is coming along a treat, and his appetite is the same – 15lb 6 oz and just 11 weeks old.

I always thought I would try and get him to be a footballer, might try rugby league instead!

We have a 7 week old!

CAN someone help me?

It seems like only two minutes I was sitting in recovery holding my newborn son. Something has happened though and we appear to have skipped seven whole weeks.

On Thursday, Jacob will be two MONTHS old! I mean talk about time flies but this period has been like being on Concord! - Not that I would know, closest I get to Mach speed is when I shave with a particular razor....

It's been a terrific voyage of discovery for the little man and for his mum and dad, I've already blogged on the sleep issues. What is wonderful is how he appears to be cluster feeding in an evening to try and go as long as he can during the night.

But to watch him learn about the world is still a sight to behold even seven weeks on. Those wide eyes when he is taking in a black and white picture, when his bouncy giraffe is doing its thing or even when daddy makes strange noises (to amuse you understand) is enough to make you forget any crap in the 'real world'.

He already has little character traits that make you laugh, first thing after his 'breakfast' feed he adores lying in his crib looking at the morning light, transfixed!

I marvel at how he falls asleep in the loudest environments, not happy when he's put in his car seat but as soon as he is in the car and on the motorway he can be sound asleep.

I can take him for a walk in his pushchair and be by the busiest nosiest road and do I hear a peep, nope? Sound asleep

Even when he is having 'interaction time' with us, his yawns and his little facial expressions are enough to bring a smile to the grumpiest daddy after a long day at work.

He's learning so much about the world around him, sometimes we put him in his bouncy chair and watch him piece together everything he has learned during the day.

Medically he is sailing through all his tests and checks and wonderfully passed the hip scan the doctors wanted because he was pulled out bottom first.

All in all we have been blessed, here's to many more wonderful weeks!

Sleep!

REMEMBER it? That thing you used to do of a night....no not that you dirty little so and soes.

Despite parenthood changing our whole lives, the biggest change for me personally has been sleep. Luckily we have a child whose very keen on sleeping when it's dark so that is challenge one out of the way.

However, we have both gone from seven hours continuous sleep to seven hours in installments which isn't too bad. Making my lunch at 6am while waiting for a bottle to warm does shave time off my morning routine!

I am starting to think though all the tips to get them to sleep are rubbish and your baby will do what the heck he or she likes. The only input you have is if you listen to what they want then they MAY oblige and give you some much needed rest.

In the last 10 days Jacob has increased his feeds of an evening, up until 4pm he quite happy to go three/four hours between his milk. After 4.30pm though, he becomes 'The Milk Monster' and makes it quite clear he wants milk at 7pm.

I like to think he is pleased to see me and wants to reward me for a hard day's work with some daddy time but it's probably just because he's starving!

That takes us to about 9ish when he is then after it again and up until the last two nights he guzzles away happily and then falls asleep. However the last two nights he's been so knackered from all the playtime with mummy feeding is hard work.

It's a routine of sorts because after 9pm feed he is very happy until at least 3am/3.30am which gives us some much needed snooze time!

But it's not the same for everyone and I am not showing off at all, just think its the luck of the draw!