A Dad's take on bressure and brelfies

BREAST feeding is back in the news today and apparently now any mum who posts a pic of her breastfeeding has put pressure on those who couldn't for whatever reason.

As a result, the hashtag #bressure has provoked a lot of support from bottle feeding mums who feel pressured into breastfeeding.

Various stories, 'how I was looked down on when I bottlefed' and the like have been posted and frankly it's ridiculous.

As I recall, 'brelfies' rose to prominence because various social media sites were censoring breastfeeding pictures because of all the 'nudity' (god help too much flesh is shown eh)

I don't recall one brelfie with the message 'This is the right and only way and a plague on all those who don't flop their boobs out to nurture their babies'

Why? because it didn't happen. Brelfies were proud mums, sharing those intimate moments with the world.

The same intimate moments can be had with bottle feeding, had this campaign been 'bottlefie' then brilliant, a great way to get the message across that breast or bottle, both are brilliant.

But instead it's back to running down breastfeeding. I've seen the hurt in Pam's eyes when she couldn't get Jacob to feed from her breast. He was lazy, we had all the help possible, lovely supportive midwives, different positions but sometimes it just doesn't work.

But now, nine months on, is she ashamed she couldn't, depressed and pressured if she sees a mum breastfeeding? No, my wife like hundreds of millions of women in the world is proud, proud she carried and birthed a baby. Because whatever the argument, THAT is the greatest accomplishment.

If anyone in your social circle judges you for not being able to breastfeed then maybe you need to rethink your social circle?

I know Pam wouldn't look down on any mum who breastfeeds or bottlefeeds and speaking as a dad, I can't see how any woman could.

Women are given the greatest gift, they can conceive, grow and deliver human life. Frankly, it doesn't matter how they then feed their babies just as long as they do.

We shouldn't judge anyone on either side of this debate, we should instead remember our children are being fed, some aren't.

Surely that's a bigger issue to worry about?

Being a dad - six months on!

SO it’s been six months since we became parents. And the good news is we haven’t damaged Jacob in anyway! I’m sure I wasn't alone in thinking in the delivery room, what if I break him?

But, as with most things in fatherhood you soon realise your worries are just frankly ridiculous!

What it has been has been a voyage of discovery and learning, of sleepless nights and fun-filled days.

Nothing in life can prepare you for the actual job of fatherhood, you can learn lots about babycare but nothing prepares you for the emotional hit of holding your own child.

What have I learned? A load, both about myself, about patience and the joy of baby watching. Come on dads, we have all done it, just stopped and watched how our little ones go about their day.

Jacob is just a delight, especially now at six months where he is babbling away and developing a really funny personality. His favourite trick at the moment appears to be looking all sad at either me or his mum.

When he inevitably gets out attention, the cheeky little scamp either smiles so warmly or turns away quickly with a sudden bout of ‘shyness’.

I’ve also learned nothing really matters, a bad day at work can be resolved the moment you walk through the door.

I have been so blessed that as well as a healthy baby, I have the most fabulous wife, a woman born to be a mother and a true natural. But then again I am biased!!!

From the early days of neither of us knowing what the heck we were doing to now, it’s been a wonderful journey so far, long may it continue.

So for those dads to be, let me share some wisdom. Firstly, be there for the birth and see what you want to see, those precious first seconds will be burned on your memory forever

Secondly, get involved in feeding and nappies: Jacob weed on me not once but twice on his first day in the world,  a badge of honour!

Thirdly, during your paternity leave, make sure you do as much round the house as you can, it’s a good chance to learn something new!

And finally, when your baby and your partner/wife sleep, make sure you do as well or at least chill out on the sofa!

Thank you for the memories son, here’s to so many more

 

REVIEW: 90:10 Hoodie

BEING a big fan of hoodies I was delighted to receive an offer to review one from the guys at 90:10 given I’m also 90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not!

When you become a dad, you find yourself wondering whether you should grow up now and act responsible. But pretty soon you realise you can still have fun and enjoy yourself, just because I’m a dad and in my 30s it doesn’t mean I’m past it, no sir!

I decided to give my 90:10 hoodie the biggest challenge and put it on straight after a shower and straight away I loved the close feel and it certainly kept the heat in.

I liked the look of it immediately, really nice and attractive branding yet not too obvious and off putting for the 90 per cent of me that is grown up!

Comfy to drive in and lark about in, the 90:10 hoodie is well made and stands up to any challenge thrown at it, especially if you always on the go.

One of the first comments from my wife was I looked slimmer in it, so if you’re trying to hide a few pounds lads you know where to look!

While it certainly keeps the heat in during this current cold spell, I imagine it will also be perfect for the spring and summer months.

I went bowling with the guys from work on Friday night and decided to throw it back on as the navy blue looks great with jeans.

The design looks both smart and casual, something which is not always the case with some of the more well-known brands.

I tend to throw on hoodies during the colder months and rely on longer sleeve shirts in the spring and summer.

However, I can easily see me reaching for this on a summer’s evening perhaps when the heat of the day has gone and it’s just a bit nippy. Hopefully I’ll be in a beer garden at the time!

90 per cent grown up is enough for me so it’s refreshing to know others feel the same, so much so they’ve put it on a hoodie!

90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not = 100 per cent satisfied!

Visit www.9010man.com for more about the range, including a ‘headphone’ hoodie, yes guys now your iPhone has a real home!

Labour's paternity plan is great, but it has to be worthwhile.

THE news this morning that Labour would give new dads four weeks off work after the birth of their baby is very welcome.

Having agonisingly crawled to work two weeks after Jacob was born I would have welcomed another two weeks off, if not just to try and build up the courage to tear myself away from him!

But as many things in politics, a welcome announcement on the surface often becomes less so when you dig down to what we call 'reality'.

Paternity leave is wonderful; two weeks off, the Government pay for it, your annual leave is untouched. Your first two weeks as a daddy are taken care of....

However, when you actually look at what is offered, £138, you soon realise that the devil is indeed in the detail.

I earn roughly £300 a week, meaning had I had two weeks off I would have lost over a week's salary! I'm sure that wasn't the intention when paternity leave was created.

This is not a whinge, far from it, the fact that paternity leave even exists is great and that any contribution from the Government is welcome.

But the moment that little bundle arrives, you immediately think about protecting them and keeping them safe and losing money which could be spent on nappies and the like in the first month is a worry you just don't need.

We are lucky in this country to have fathers of relitavely young children in charge of all three parties, so parenting should remain on the agenda.

Labour have a great idea, it would be great now to see it worked through to ensure new dads aren't forced to use their annual leave.

I don't have the answer, I can only speak as a dad who took one week off the state and one week's annual leave when J was born.

Over to you Mr Miliband!

Bargain Hunt!

No not the TV programme but a blog about the rather silly pleasure I took from Tesco's 'interesting' approach to deals on Pampers nappies.

Pampers New Baby Size 3 (What can I say, Jacob is a growing lad) were on sale in plentiful supply. Packs of 29 were £4 each, a pack of 50 was £10 and a box of 74 for £12.

I do love getting the boxes because they last longer and the boxes can be used for storage once empty, very important when family members keep donating clothes!

But there wasn't any, so worked down to the pack of 50....until I spotted a flaw in Tesco's pricing....

The packs of 29 were £4 each or two for £6. Keen mathematicians among you will have already spotted the bargain. Yes buy two 29 packs and get 58 nappies for £6....eight more nappies for £4 less.

However, that was not the 'highlight' of this shopping trip, get two for £6 and buy a third 29 pack and what do you get?

87 nappies for £10, 37 more nappies than the 50 pack for the SAME PRICE!

In the modern Twitter parlance this would be classed as an #epicfail but it was a very welcome 'fail' by Tesco on this one.

Hopefully they don't notice the flaw for a while, could do with saving money as apparently it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

I hope it's the same in Tesco stores near you, if it is then why not stock up!

Daddyhood and how it changes your life

NEXT week, Jacob would have been with us for a staggering three months and in that time, my haven't things changed!

I've tried to write this blog a number of times but got so far and realised there was another aspect to my life which had changed since I became part of the 'Daddyhood'.

It's been a mind-blowing experience for me, I have adored every second so far and hope it will continue long into the future.

The main change is in me, I am now a lot calmer person, work still infuriates me at times but for some reason I now can just take a breath and move on.

Importantly whatever has happened at work I leave it at work and once go through the front door I am a happy person again.

Sleeping as I have blogged about before is very interesting but its the tiredness which has struck me more.

Previously I could easily be found playing Football Manager or watching TV until the early hours then sleeping and be fine the next day.

Now around 10pm I can feel the tiredness setting in, the TV goes off as does the laptop and my bed calls more.

I have always been quite an emotional person but since becoming a dad a new frontier has opened up, previously didn't get upset about stories involving kids as didn't have one.

Now anything involving children and I can feel the tears and instantly think 'How would I cope?' - Why does parenting do this to you?

We went to an NCT reunion last Saturday and I realised all the mums had different experiences to talk about, natural birth, assisted deliveries and our case c-section.

Yet the dads were exactly the same! How you coping?, er it's been mental, How you finding being back at 

work? Crap Have you done the really bad nappies? Yup

I will end on the biggest mind blown I still can't adjust to, Jacob will be a toddler, a little boy, a young man – I can't picture him as a little toddler running around and talking yet can't wait at the same time!

Nappy changing

I'VE come to the conclusion Jacob hates having his nappy changed and probably would be happy lying in his own mess!

The kid is that laid back that trying to do the decent thing and cleaning him up causes much crying, whimpering and general moaning.

I thought this was normal, well that and the fact he loves weeing over whoever is unlucky enough to have the task of cleaning up.

Maybe all babies hate being naked until they hit toddler hood and then like to roam free as nature intended? I shouldn't fear, all will be well and hey, I can make him laugh after he's been changed!!

Then we visited my cousin at the weekend, who became a dad for the second time in May. His little boy needed changing, so I thought oh boy prepare for the fireworks.

Instead he lay there, had a good nose around and was stripped completely naked (it was one of those nappy changes!) and was perfectly happy, not a tear or a whimper or anything.

HOW DARE THIS CHILD BE MORE CHILLED OUT AND PERFECT THAN MY OWN!!

I guess that's another part of the journey we can share, I am kind of looking forward to the exhibitionist naked phase to see if I am a prude or just sitting there laughing!

I would like to calm him down when changing him though, nothing works so far but its a work in progress!

Babies are strange aren't they!

Sleep!

REMEMBER it? That thing you used to do of a night....no not that you dirty little so and soes.

Despite parenthood changing our whole lives, the biggest change for me personally has been sleep. Luckily we have a child whose very keen on sleeping when it's dark so that is challenge one out of the way.

However, we have both gone from seven hours continuous sleep to seven hours in installments which isn't too bad. Making my lunch at 6am while waiting for a bottle to warm does shave time off my morning routine!

I am starting to think though all the tips to get them to sleep are rubbish and your baby will do what the heck he or she likes. The only input you have is if you listen to what they want then they MAY oblige and give you some much needed rest.

In the last 10 days Jacob has increased his feeds of an evening, up until 4pm he quite happy to go three/four hours between his milk. After 4.30pm though, he becomes 'The Milk Monster' and makes it quite clear he wants milk at 7pm.

I like to think he is pleased to see me and wants to reward me for a hard day's work with some daddy time but it's probably just because he's starving!

That takes us to about 9ish when he is then after it again and up until the last two nights he guzzles away happily and then falls asleep. However the last two nights he's been so knackered from all the playtime with mummy feeding is hard work.

It's a routine of sorts because after 9pm feed he is very happy until at least 3am/3.30am which gives us some much needed snooze time!

But it's not the same for everyone and I am not showing off at all, just think its the luck of the draw!

Five things I'd like to tell myself when I was a dad to be

REFLECTING this weekend on how much life has changed since Jacob came tumbling into the world I thought to myself how great would it be to go back to your dad to be self for one day?

You could give yourself advice and tips on handling your little bundle of joy before he/she arrived and become a super dad in the process!

Oh how good would you look if you had the answers before the problem even occurred. As Pam was having a sleep and Jacob decided to have a snooze in my arms I thought I'd come up with five things I'd go back and tell myself.

1) Getting wee'd and poo'd on is normal - Before having a baby, the idea of being wee'd and poo'ed on is reserved for the more kinkier minded. Now it's normal, especially if you have a little boy. There's even the strange moment you enjoy it...no not because of what you are thinking you dirty minded lot....but you are happy your little pride and joy is not constipated!

2) The strangest things can settle your baby - Once winded, cleaned and fed they just cry for whatever reason. Your brain will start throwing suggestions and your little baby will suddenly respond. One such night involved me walking up and down the living room in the pitch black making endless shhhhhhhh noises.....

3) Babies trump and yes it's hillarious - winding a baby is amusing especially when they belch very VERY loudly but nothing beats a good old trump. What is even more amusing is when they do it so loud it actually wakes them up from a slumber. Juvenile humour yes but goodness they are a comedy goldmine at times.

4) You are going to feel like the ultimate stud - Dad's not going to lie to you the idea of going out on your own to give your beloved a lie in is daunting for two reasons a) Being seen with a pushchair could be seen as a bit feminine or b) They could start doing something only mummy knows how to cope with and your miles away from home! However after the first trip out a strange thing will happen, you will suddenly walk like you are totally on top of the situation and with a swagger that says 'Yes my tackle works and helped make this, I am male HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!.....or was that just me?

5) Conversations with the wife - be warned, when you talked about serious matters of state or your day, you may find yourselves talking about how many poos your little one has done.....

Oh and one thing which is non negotiable and is therefore not a sixth point....FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T PANIC!! THERE IS AN ANSWER YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK IT OUT!!!

The Great Nappy Debate

'GET Aldi' they cried, 'works for us, we tried them all and Aldi didn't leak or anything' – that was the advice before we had Jacob.

Being a bit old fashioned though we wanted to start with an established brand name and since Huggies left the building for the most part, it was Pampers for us.

And now, three weeks in I can honestly say we are happy with the results. Jacob has never been wet when changed or stained his clothes as a result of a leaky nappy.

I accept it may be down to correct fitting by mummy (certainly not daddy!) but given the force he can do his business I think a lot of credit has to go to Pampers.

We are already on size 2 of the Pampers New Baby because Jacob was so heavy and what I like is the numbered system showing you when you perhaps need the next size up.

Yes before anyone says it I am that simple!

I also like the line on the front of the nappy which changes from yellow to blue in the event of a wee related change of nappy.

Many other products do it as well but we are very comfortable with Pampers, some of the changes we have done have been very heavy and wet nappies yet Jacob's skin is remarkably dry.

I've realised in the early weeks of fatherhood that baby's mean big business and there is so much competition for your hard-earned cash.

If something works but costs a bit more then surely it's better to stick to it? I accept Pampers may not work 

for some parents but for us, first time parents, they've been great.

How has everyone else found nappies? Did anyone go through different brands before settling on the ones for them?

Going back to work....:-(

I WOULD like to complain, no antenatal class teaches you how to cope when the day comes for you to return to work....

Monday was easily the hardest thing I have ever done, after two weeks of feeding, changing, going on walks and generally being a hands-on daddy, the need to earn money prised me away.

I did do my best toddler impression and tried to throw a tantrum (in my mind, the wife doesn't need two babies!) but the time had come.

I could have course not gone but pretty soon we'd have had no house and I don't think it's fair to put a newborn in a cardboard box.

Pam was amazing and did his night feeds so I could get some sleep ahead of going back to work but when the alarm went it was still full of dread.

I just about got dressed and made my lunch before it was time to say goodbye. Held my emotions at the bedroom door and then said goodbye to Pam and to Jacob who I swear deliberately looked even more 

adorable just to add to the moment.

But despite nearly being in tears on the way to work, they both had a wonderful day and have had a great week, me going back has given Pam a surge of confidence and I could not be prouder of her.

As a result I feel better, yes I miss them like crazy when I am at work and wondering what they are doing.

However, Jacob needs his mummy and needs his daddy to love him and care for him but also protect him and the best way I can do that is keep a roof over his head.

Should dads have longer at home? I think so yes but to be honest the levels of paternity pay from the Government are pitiful.

I lost £200 from my salary and that was only with one week's paternity leave and the other as annual leave.

But there is no better feeling than driving home from a day at work knowing you will see your loving partner 

and baby.

I adore walking in and taking over to give Pam a break, hillariously last night I walked in just before a feed so changed his nappy, started to feed and what did Jacob do? Fill his nappy.

Talk about a welcome home......parenthood eh?

Our First Days as a Mummy and Daddy

WE SURVIVED!! Well we have for the first two weeks anyway. Mission one of parenting, don’t kill it has been achieved!

It’s been an eye-opening two weeks, funny because a lot of the time Jacob kept his eyes closed!!!!

And everybody who said it would turn my world upside down was absolutely correct, life as we know it changed massively on August 14.

The biggest lesson I have learned though is to watch my son, his cues nearly always give a guide as to what he wants at that moment.

Oh and to not panic, those early days when they cry for no apparent reason can sometimes solved with more feeds, especially if they are trying to regain their birth weight as Jacob has been.

The Sunday night after we came home saw both of us have meltdowns, it’s only the next day we looked at things and realised he was just after another feed!

Hindsight is very important for new parents!

I’ve learned a lot about myself, especially if I relax and let my instinct take over I am actually quite good at taking care of him.

I have also learned that there is another level above love, I love Pam and would do anything for her but Jacob….just looking at him sleep can make me feel WOW

To any dads to be, some advice:

-          ALWAYS sleep when they sleep when you get home, you will need it and it’s amazing how the extra power gained with a lunchtime nap sustains you during the 3am feed.

-          Tackle nappies as soon as you can, they don’t smell during the first few days so it’s a good chance to hone the changing skill before the smelly ones arrive.

-          Being weed on is a badge of honour, you can learn to try and block it but the clever so and so’s work around it…

-          Try and do as much as you can for your beloved, it will be appreciated.

-          If you need to go out in first few days after you come home, walk to the shop if you can. Fresh air is wonderful and you might feel a little spaced out.

-          Be prepared your normally sharp brain may be a little fuzzy,  for example you might go to the bank to pay a cheque in and forget to take your wallet……

But most importantly, enjoy it! It’s a wonderful voyage of discovery and one I am so glad I brought a ticket for!

Welcome Jacob Edward James George

THURSDAY, August 14 was quite simply the best day of my life as it saw the birth of Jacob via c-section.

I have tried to sit down many times to record the day with a blog but don’t feel I ever had the words until now, two weeks on.

After an overnight stay, I got to Worcestershire Royal for just after 8am, Pam had already been seen by the anaesthetist who was friendly and very calming influence.

The surgeons who would perform the c-section arrived soon after and were again very professional and personable.

They asked us if we knew the sex as apparently they had done a c-section before and announced the arrival of a baby girl, to blank faces from mum and dad who did not know what they were having!

A quick scan confirmed Jacob was indeed breech still and then it was a slow walk to the theatre, Pam went for her spinal block while I changed into some delightful scrubs. Don’t worry, no pictures exist of how I looked!

Pretty soon it was time for me to go in, I thought I would go a bit weak seeing all the equipment but a very calm state descended over me.

The lovely midwife popped me on a chair next to Pam’s head and once the anaesthetic did its thing it was time to bring Jacob into the world.

Apart from a bit of pulling, you wouldn’t have known what was taking place and then came the moment that will live with me forever.

Jacob was born and held above the partition for us to see, our gorgeous little boy melted both our hearts by looking straight at his mummy!

He was checked over and didn’t go pink as quickly as they would have liked, of course as soon as the paediatric nurse was paged he soon responded.

But I was soon asked to go over and say hello and cut the remainder of the cord, a nice touch by the hospital to ensure the dad can experience the sensation.

I did think it would be very spongy but it’s actually really gristly and tough, comforting in a way to know something so hard-wearing fed him for nine months!

After a short while in recovery, including plenty of male bonding, we were back in delivery (no rooms in the antenatal inn) and I got to speak to family and friends and let them know the good news.

Dads, give yourself a minute before you call people to let them know, I spent a good minute just rambling with excitement!

We ended the first day on antenatal, I handled the first two nappies which any new dad MUST do, as you get the badge of honour of being weed on then!

All in all it was a momentous day which Pam and I won’t forget in a hurry, 10.31am on 14/08/14  is a moment I will treasure forever

Dear Jacob

WELL son, today's the day.

Thursday, August 14 will be your birthday and while me and your mum didn't expect things to happen like this we can't wait to meet you.

We've had a wonderful journey since your mum came bounding into the bedroom in January to say you were on the way.

From the first scan where you had everything you should have and were healthy to the 20 week scan where we found you were a Jacob, it's a been a voyage of discovery.

You have entertained us with your movements, your obliging nature every time a midwife needed to listen to your heartbeat and your kicks whenever I seemingly spoke.

But you have grown healthy and seemingly happy despite mummy's diabetes (I'll fill you in on it all when you are a little older).

And now it's time to come join us on the outside. Sorry about that but you have to admit there is hardly any room where you are now!

You'll see a light tomorrow little man and some hands, don't be afraid. He is there to help you out into the world and see me and your mum.

She'll be the one lying down, she not being lazy just staying still because of reasons you don't need to know yet. Let's just say if you like sunroofs it won't be a surprise.....

As for me, I will be the one looking and asking questions. Not because I'm a journalist but because I'm nosey.

I won't lie to you mate, I will probably be blubbing but hey I guess you will as well so anything to make you feel at home.

There's plenty to discover little man, I can't wait to share the journey with you.

Oh and in case I forget to say it, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And then there was Sunday...

OUR mad weekend continued with a trip into hospital on Sunday for some steroid injections to get J's lungs up to speed for the c-section on Thursday.

After driving through a monsoon, we were settled in by Pam Jones and her wonderful team at Worcestershire Royal Hospital's delivery suite and the day was mapped out.

Two steroid injections 12 hours apart and should she be OK then discharge on Monday, apart from being on a insulin drip to regulate her diabetes as steroids can make her blood sugars go funny.

Early blood sugar readings were good and while rather painful, the steroid injection passed without incident so after some lunch I was dispatched to Walsall to see my mum and spend time with my dad on his actual birthday.

I came back for the second injection, blood sugars were all good and the second injection passed without alarm. I left on Sunday night full of hope Pam would be back with me at home on Monday afternoon at latest.

HOWEVER, after going into work to get my mind off things on Monday morning I had a call. Jacob was showing to be rather disgruntled on the CTG and I should get over there.

Redditch to Worcester has never gone so quick....of course when I got there the scene was complete calm, his disgruntled state had once again returned to complete calm, the opposite of daddy!

Long story short, he wasn't distressed as babies don't return to calm once distressed but he was unhappy with something and may have tugged his cord or clasped it between his legs or even got tangled up briefly.

Suffice to say a Monday discharge looked unlikely but J seemed to sense mummy was a little upset and when the CTG was repeated at 1pm he was very happy, plenty of gymnastics and content heartbeat.

So we were evicted at 3pm! Mummy Smurf came back to her castle with instructions to return to the hospital at 8pm on Wednesday.

Jacob, you will be evicted on Thursday, no sooner please! We have a CTG again at 12.30pm today, please behave for it!

Breasts, pumps and blogger meet ups!

LAST Friday I was invited by blogger extraordinare Emma Harris aka @MeTheManAndBaby to the breastfeeding group run by the Vale of Evesham NCT.

I'm not going to lie, the offer of cake was also a factor but I have never met any of my fellow bloggers and having one on the doorstep, well it seemed rude not to.

Seriously though, I was also asked along to consider a feature for the paper and I am delighted to say Jane Watson-Davis, the organiser has already got in touch with some information.

What I found was a lovely welcoming group where mums were comfortable feeding and got the help and support they needed.

What really came over though is the potential for easing the minds of new mums when it comes to breastfeeding.

Groups like this allow mums to ask questions and not worry or have to go to the doctor with a 'concern' which turns out to be perfectly normal.

Surely that is a good thing? I was also chuffed to see a few dads on hand as well, we might not have the boobies but we can be useful hehe.

A lovely feature is the NCT also run a group next door for the older children, meaning once they are no longer baby and toddlers they can still be involved with their new little brother or sister.

And mums to be were also there to get used to the group before baby arrives, Jane recommended anyone who wants to breastfeed get along to an NCT breastfeeding group before birth to say hello.

I reckon they only do it though to have a look at the bumps!

I also got to hold little Charlotte Harris and over the moon she didn't burst out crying when handed to me, as most babies usually do when passed to the 'Childcatcher' LOL.

It was a bit worrying when she went looking for food, my man breasts are a little flabby but I have not seen milk yet!

My talents also extended to making another little boy smile, maybe the little people have accepted I will be a father so won't be crying in my presence from now on?

All in all a fabulous time, Emma even kindly invited Mummy Smurf to the next one, we might yet take her up on that offer

Hang on, I never got any cake!

I'm sure you don't need the address but do visit @MeTheManAndBaby and her blog at www.methemanandthebaby.co.uk 

Scans, surprises and suites

ONCE again we found ourselves at the hospital, no real surprise as I think the car can drive itself there now.

Friday was scan day and what a lovely day we had, firstly the scan which Jacob really can’t be doing with now, he fidgets as soon as the gel goes on. My boy likes his privacy!

It’s strange as any check of the heartbeat that is done sees J do all he can so help everyone on the outside hear it.

He’s also developing a rather cute party trick of kicking for anyone that might ask to feel Pam’s bump, bringing delight to many…charmer!

Despite the fidgeting, he does relent and offered his mum and dad a surprise while the sonographer was looking at his feet.

We knew he was ‘almost certainly’ a boy but J decided to make sure and proceeded to give us all a quick flash…like I said charmer!!

After that Pam won huge praise for how she has controlled her diabetes during the pregnancy and, while J currently measures above the line on the growth chart, it concluded a fantastic day for us.

The next day saw us back at Worcestershire Royal for a tour of the delivery suite, something which initially I thought might be a bit of a waste of time.

I mean you don’t look at the dentists where you will have the root canal, nor look at the theatre you will have an operation so why look where you will have your baby.

It will have a bed and all the gubbins you see on programmes like One Born Every Minute so why visit?

Well, how wrong was I, what a lovely afternoon and how reassuring it was to see the layout of the place where J will breathe his first breath.

The lovely midwife Dawn had eight couples on her hands including Pam and I but was thoughtful and relaxed as she took us round the delivery suite.

First stop was the birthing pool suite, Worcestershire Royal only has one birthing pool suite but wowzer how deep is the pool? It’s the depth of a swimming pool, I can totally see why mums love it now as it must be like taking the world’s biggest bath!

There are blow up pools though and each delivery room has an en-suite so any water based pain relief could be taken care of.

We were taken round the whole delivery suite, including a glimpse into the theatre which was not in use when we visited.

Although I hope our journey doesn’t end in c-section, it could and more power to the midwives at Worcestershire Royal for tackling the fear head on, I hope it calmed the nerves of some.

A tour around antenatal followed and I have to say the facilities were first class and an ideal way for us to welcome J into the world.

A huge thanks to Dawn and the team on the day, when she was asked why it was rather quiet despite eight of the nine delivery rooms being ‘in use’ she responded: “I don’t think any are at the stage where they are making much noise yet”.

I suspect things might have got louder when we left!

 

 

I'm going to be a dad, HELP!

IT hit me on Sunday afternoon, as I was buying my dad a drink and ordering some food together'Oh my god I am going to be a dad'.

Now before any wisecrackers start, yes the wife's swollen belly, her restless legs, the scans, the purchases of such things as nappy bins and changing tables were a clear indication of the arrival of another person into my world.

But I realised over the weekend, I have done all the research into pregnancy and the birth and becoming a parent. I've just forgot to look into what being a dad actually means!

This time next year, a little person will look at me and call me dad and in return I have to love him, look after him and keep him safe.

Someone is going to rely on me, a scary thought but not as scary as the one that I will actually be eligible for Father's Day next year!

But beyond that, I will change his bum, make him laugh, teach him things, celebrate his achievements and support him in any low moments.

I am going to be a dad!!!

P.S – My darling wife actually made this Father's Day rather special by buying me this card, a dry run for next year!

Memories of our last holiday together

SO that's it, no more holidays on our own, from now on it's family friendly holidays and children-friendly activities.

Our holiday came to an end on Saturday night but it was a special week and I am delighted to close the chapter on that part of my life.

While the lazing round in the pub or lazy afternoons in quiet Welsh villages are gone, the idea that Jacob is joining us on our adventures is very exciting.

I even realised during the week how much daddy brain has affected me, previously I could never understand a toddler if I overheard a babble. Yet two or three times I understood every word what was said.

I think it's fair to say my brain has been retuned to the dad frequency! (It was always on medium wave anyway).

After a couple of lazy days we enjoyed visits to Newtown, to Machynlleth and to a lovely nature sanctuary down the road from there.

Run by the RSPB, the Cors Dyfi nature project is home to the famous Ospreys Monty and Glesni who return each spring to mate and bring new life into the world.

Live web cams greet you in the reception to watch Glesni take care of her chicks who had hatched just day before our visit.

And the highlight is the walk through the reserve, where you can catch a glimpse of a water buffalo and other wildlife.

The wonderful 360 degree observatory is a sight to behold though (pictured) and allows for fabulous views of the Welsh countryside.

 

Perfect for adults and a great chance to educate youngsters about the natural world, the centre exists on donations alone. It's a wonderful day out with just a suggested donation of £2.50 per day.

Find out more about it using the links below, we enjoyed it immensely and hopefully Jacob will be going back when he is with us!

Bring on the baby!!

http://www.dyfiospreyproject.com/

Everyone is wrong about Kirstie

KIRSTIE Allsopp murdered someone this week and was so delighted with her action she boasted about it on social media and during an interview with the Daily Telegraph.

Oh....hang on that's wrong she was interviewed about a variety of subjects and among her comments were fears about the limited time women had to 'go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby'.

She then followed it up by saying 'You can do your career afterwards' which enraged society - by that I mean Twitter - with everyone suggesting she was this, that and the other and 'how dare she tell people when to have babies'.

Except she didn't, she was expressing what is called an 'opinion' based on her experiences both personally and among friends.

Commenters have clearly not read the interview so let me share a few points.

The headline for the piece is “I don’t want the next generation of women to suffer the same heartache” - how dare she be so caring hey?

Extracts from the interview by a very good journalist in Bryony Gordon include: “We should speak honestly and frankly about fertility and the fact it falls off a cliff when you’re 35.

“We should talk openly about university and whether going when you’re young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward.”

“At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone.

“Some of the greatest pain that I have seen among friends is the struggle to have a child. It wasn’t all people who couldn’t start early enough because they hadn’t met the right person.

Nowhere is Ms Allsopp TELLING women what to do, she is expressing an opinion based on her own experience, she even admits she 'whistled in by a miracle' when it came to having her own sons.

Fertility is a real problem, Pam and I only met in 2008 when I was 26 and she was already 30. With fetility rates dropping after you are 35 we could have had only five years to move in together, get married (again our choice) and raise a family.

Luckily at 35 she fell pregnant and we will welcome Jacob in August and, fertility gods willing, will maybe have the chance to add to our family if we wish.

But it could have been very different, we could be talking IVF and even adoption, the fact it has not happened is a blessing.

Surely Ms Allsopp is right to at least suggest women think hard before starting their life journey, rather than face the potential heartache of infertility?

Surely she is entitled to an opinion? Link is below, please read the full interview and make up your own minds.

Kirstie Allsopp interview with Daily Telegraph