Being a dad - six months on!

SO it’s been six months since we became parents. And the good news is we haven’t damaged Jacob in anyway! I’m sure I wasn't alone in thinking in the delivery room, what if I break him?

But, as with most things in fatherhood you soon realise your worries are just frankly ridiculous!

What it has been has been a voyage of discovery and learning, of sleepless nights and fun-filled days.

Nothing in life can prepare you for the actual job of fatherhood, you can learn lots about babycare but nothing prepares you for the emotional hit of holding your own child.

What have I learned? A load, both about myself, about patience and the joy of baby watching. Come on dads, we have all done it, just stopped and watched how our little ones go about their day.

Jacob is just a delight, especially now at six months where he is babbling away and developing a really funny personality. His favourite trick at the moment appears to be looking all sad at either me or his mum.

When he inevitably gets out attention, the cheeky little scamp either smiles so warmly or turns away quickly with a sudden bout of ‘shyness’.

I’ve also learned nothing really matters, a bad day at work can be resolved the moment you walk through the door.

I have been so blessed that as well as a healthy baby, I have the most fabulous wife, a woman born to be a mother and a true natural. But then again I am biased!!!

From the early days of neither of us knowing what the heck we were doing to now, it’s been a wonderful journey so far, long may it continue.

So for those dads to be, let me share some wisdom. Firstly, be there for the birth and see what you want to see, those precious first seconds will be burned on your memory forever

Secondly, get involved in feeding and nappies: Jacob weed on me not once but twice on his first day in the world,  a badge of honour!

Thirdly, during your paternity leave, make sure you do as much round the house as you can, it’s a good chance to learn something new!

And finally, when your baby and your partner/wife sleep, make sure you do as well or at least chill out on the sofa!

Thank you for the memories son, here’s to so many more

 

REVIEW: 90:10 Hoodie

BEING a big fan of hoodies I was delighted to receive an offer to review one from the guys at 90:10 given I’m also 90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not!

When you become a dad, you find yourself wondering whether you should grow up now and act responsible. But pretty soon you realise you can still have fun and enjoy yourself, just because I’m a dad and in my 30s it doesn’t mean I’m past it, no sir!

I decided to give my 90:10 hoodie the biggest challenge and put it on straight after a shower and straight away I loved the close feel and it certainly kept the heat in.

I liked the look of it immediately, really nice and attractive branding yet not too obvious and off putting for the 90 per cent of me that is grown up!

Comfy to drive in and lark about in, the 90:10 hoodie is well made and stands up to any challenge thrown at it, especially if you always on the go.

One of the first comments from my wife was I looked slimmer in it, so if you’re trying to hide a few pounds lads you know where to look!

While it certainly keeps the heat in during this current cold spell, I imagine it will also be perfect for the spring and summer months.

I went bowling with the guys from work on Friday night and decided to throw it back on as the navy blue looks great with jeans.

The design looks both smart and casual, something which is not always the case with some of the more well-known brands.

I tend to throw on hoodies during the colder months and rely on longer sleeve shirts in the spring and summer.

However, I can easily see me reaching for this on a summer’s evening perhaps when the heat of the day has gone and it’s just a bit nippy. Hopefully I’ll be in a beer garden at the time!

90 per cent grown up is enough for me so it’s refreshing to know others feel the same, so much so they’ve put it on a hoodie!

90 per cent grown up, 10 per cent not = 100 per cent satisfied!

Visit www.9010man.com for more about the range, including a ‘headphone’ hoodie, yes guys now your iPhone has a real home!

Bargain Hunt!

No not the TV programme but a blog about the rather silly pleasure I took from Tesco's 'interesting' approach to deals on Pampers nappies.

Pampers New Baby Size 3 (What can I say, Jacob is a growing lad) were on sale in plentiful supply. Packs of 29 were £4 each, a pack of 50 was £10 and a box of 74 for £12.

I do love getting the boxes because they last longer and the boxes can be used for storage once empty, very important when family members keep donating clothes!

But there wasn't any, so worked down to the pack of 50....until I spotted a flaw in Tesco's pricing....

The packs of 29 were £4 each or two for £6. Keen mathematicians among you will have already spotted the bargain. Yes buy two 29 packs and get 58 nappies for £6....eight more nappies for £4 less.

However, that was not the 'highlight' of this shopping trip, get two for £6 and buy a third 29 pack and what do you get?

87 nappies for £10, 37 more nappies than the 50 pack for the SAME PRICE!

In the modern Twitter parlance this would be classed as an #epicfail but it was a very welcome 'fail' by Tesco on this one.

Hopefully they don't notice the flaw for a while, could do with saving money as apparently it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

I hope it's the same in Tesco stores near you, if it is then why not stock up!

The guilt of being a working dad

I don't know if any other dad feels this, I might be the only one but I want to share it in the hope I might not be the only one.

Since Jacob was born, I've been on top of the world, happy, thrilled I have been blessed with such a healthy and happy child.

I've loved every minute, even when he was screaming the place down the first time I was left alone with him!

I've learned a lot about myself and also learned a lot about how to interact with him and help him.

But throughout I have been hit by guilt, the guilt of missing out on special moments and most importantly the guilt of being a 'part-time' dad.

Working as a journalist I normally do 9am to 5.30pm and I don't mind that, but it's the after hours meetings and events I need to sometimes attend which start me off.

I fear Pam is going to feel trapped and doing everything for Jacob, that she has no break when I am out until 9/10pm at night.

Take last Monday for example, I left the house at 8.15am to get to work, did a full day, drove to a council meeting, covered that and then was wanted for some after meetings chats.

I didn't walk back through my front door until 9.10pm, by which time Pam was feeding Jacob his pre bed milk and would be going to bed herself.

So of course I felt guilty she had been with him all day and I hadn't helped at all....

But here's the thing, Pam is utterly supportive and loving about it, she emphasises she can only do that 

BECAUSE I am working and bringing the money home.

She has never once moaned I was away from home, she's been totally brilliant.

I spoke to my dad, who was fantastic and reminded me that I might not think it but I am doing a very important role, bringing the money in to keep a roof over our heads.

And I do get what they are saying, I do. But I still feel yukky and that I am not doing enough to be a hands on and supportive daddy and husband.

Dads? Did you feel like this? Can anyone help me stop feeling so guilty?

Smiling and other wonderful discoveries

THE most wonderful moment of recent weeks has been Jacob smiling away at both me and his mummy.

After the initial ones which you put down to wind, the moment he smiles lightens my world and makes it a simply wonderful place.

I haven't yet captured it on camera as I altenate between smiling and laughing back at him and simply beam with pride at yet another little development in his life.

There are so many recent examples I could share but my favourite has to be anytime he smiles and then lets out a happy laugh like sound.

Just after a milk feed last Saturday, we were in front of the television and he was switching between staring at this box, looking out the window and back at me.

He looked, he smiled and then was so delighted with his effort he let out the happiest sound.

Other developments in the last few weeks have been an increase in babbling, he's realised he can make different sounds now so we get 'ooohs' 'bahhhhhhh' 'aaaaaahhhhhhh' and all sorts of other wonderful sounds.

And I am delighted to say he now goes on his playmat and plays with the various toys in and around him and doesn't throw up as was his want in the early weeks.

I never realised the pleasure in simply listening to him as he goes about learning about his surroundings.

And of course talking to him is such a joy, especially when he looks and goes 'ooooooooooooooooooo' back!

Development is coming along a treat, and his appetite is the same – 15lb 6 oz and just 11 weeks old.

I always thought I would try and get him to be a footballer, might try rugby league instead!

Daddyhood and how it changes your life

NEXT week, Jacob would have been with us for a staggering three months and in that time, my haven't things changed!

I've tried to write this blog a number of times but got so far and realised there was another aspect to my life which had changed since I became part of the 'Daddyhood'.

It's been a mind-blowing experience for me, I have adored every second so far and hope it will continue long into the future.

The main change is in me, I am now a lot calmer person, work still infuriates me at times but for some reason I now can just take a breath and move on.

Importantly whatever has happened at work I leave it at work and once go through the front door I am a happy person again.

Sleeping as I have blogged about before is very interesting but its the tiredness which has struck me more.

Previously I could easily be found playing Football Manager or watching TV until the early hours then sleeping and be fine the next day.

Now around 10pm I can feel the tiredness setting in, the TV goes off as does the laptop and my bed calls more.

I have always been quite an emotional person but since becoming a dad a new frontier has opened up, previously didn't get upset about stories involving kids as didn't have one.

Now anything involving children and I can feel the tears and instantly think 'How would I cope?' - Why does parenting do this to you?

We went to an NCT reunion last Saturday and I realised all the mums had different experiences to talk about, natural birth, assisted deliveries and our case c-section.

Yet the dads were exactly the same! How you coping?, er it's been mental, How you finding being back at 

work? Crap Have you done the really bad nappies? Yup

I will end on the biggest mind blown I still can't adjust to, Jacob will be a toddler, a little boy, a young man – I can't picture him as a little toddler running around and talking yet can't wait at the same time!

I'm going to be a dad, HELP!

IT hit me on Sunday afternoon, as I was buying my dad a drink and ordering some food together'Oh my god I am going to be a dad'.

Now before any wisecrackers start, yes the wife's swollen belly, her restless legs, the scans, the purchases of such things as nappy bins and changing tables were a clear indication of the arrival of another person into my world.

But I realised over the weekend, I have done all the research into pregnancy and the birth and becoming a parent. I've just forgot to look into what being a dad actually means!

This time next year, a little person will look at me and call me dad and in return I have to love him, look after him and keep him safe.

Someone is going to rely on me, a scary thought but not as scary as the one that I will actually be eligible for Father's Day next year!

But beyond that, I will change his bum, make him laugh, teach him things, celebrate his achievements and support him in any low moments.

I am going to be a dad!!!

P.S – My darling wife actually made this Father's Day rather special by buying me this card, a dry run for next year!

Everyone is wrong about Kirstie

KIRSTIE Allsopp murdered someone this week and was so delighted with her action she boasted about it on social media and during an interview with the Daily Telegraph.

Oh....hang on that's wrong she was interviewed about a variety of subjects and among her comments were fears about the limited time women had to 'go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby'.

She then followed it up by saying 'You can do your career afterwards' which enraged society - by that I mean Twitter - with everyone suggesting she was this, that and the other and 'how dare she tell people when to have babies'.

Except she didn't, she was expressing what is called an 'opinion' based on her experiences both personally and among friends.

Commenters have clearly not read the interview so let me share a few points.

The headline for the piece is “I don’t want the next generation of women to suffer the same heartache” - how dare she be so caring hey?

Extracts from the interview by a very good journalist in Bryony Gordon include: “We should speak honestly and frankly about fertility and the fact it falls off a cliff when you’re 35.

“We should talk openly about university and whether going when you’re young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward.”

“At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone.

“Some of the greatest pain that I have seen among friends is the struggle to have a child. It wasn’t all people who couldn’t start early enough because they hadn’t met the right person.

Nowhere is Ms Allsopp TELLING women what to do, she is expressing an opinion based on her own experience, she even admits she 'whistled in by a miracle' when it came to having her own sons.

Fertility is a real problem, Pam and I only met in 2008 when I was 26 and she was already 30. With fetility rates dropping after you are 35 we could have had only five years to move in together, get married (again our choice) and raise a family.

Luckily at 35 she fell pregnant and we will welcome Jacob in August and, fertility gods willing, will maybe have the chance to add to our family if we wish.

But it could have been very different, we could be talking IVF and even adoption, the fact it has not happened is a blessing.

Surely Ms Allsopp is right to at least suggest women think hard before starting their life journey, rather than face the potential heartache of infertility?

Surely she is entitled to an opinion? Link is below, please read the full interview and make up your own minds.

Kirstie Allsopp interview with Daily Telegraph