Why is there a war against dads?

WATCHING your child come into the world is arguably one of the most life-changing events in a man’s life, certainly was for me.

But new research suggests that some fathers should steer clear of the delivery room because they could make the pain of childbirth even worse (!!)

A study by University College London, King's College London and the University of Hertfordshire suggests that women who lack emotional intimacy with their partner experienced more pain if they are on hand.

This 'news' has made the front page of no less than The Times today, what is it with this 'war' on dads?

Surely if we want men to be good dads we need to be involved from the very moment things 'get real'.

We will never experience the aches and pains, the kicks, that wonderful relationship that begins as the tummy expands, surely even the most squeamish men should be allowed to witness the birth of the baby they have helped make?

One minute there is a war against feckless dad who make a woman pregnant and abandon them and the next science is saying actually they shouldn't be there in the first place!

Is there no wonder some men are disconnected from the whole process? Pam would never have accepted me not being in the delivery room. 'Oh I can't cope with seeing her in all that pain' - newsflash it ain't a walk in the park for the mum either!!

No words can adequately express the moment your child arrives into the world. Jacob's entrance will be burned on to my mind forever as will that precious first half an hour cradling this wonderful if messy new arrival.

Instead of banishing dads, let's educate and talk about it. Because the reward is so worth it.

Don't want to be a dad, put something on the end of it!

SORRY to quote Jeremy Kyle but it felt appropriate for a post re the disillusioned father-of-three who made headlines when he listed his kids' old buggy for sale on eBay.

If you haven't read it, basically the guy resents being a dad and posted a sarcastic tirade about how becoming a dad ended his 'carefree life'.

Now I am willing to believe it's a sarcastic post and the man is a devoted father and he simply trying to flog it for a load of money.

But if it's serious then why have kids? I won't lie and say everything is just fine, there are good and bad days but surely he knew that when he fertilised his wife?

I can't understand men who moan about how much life has changed and how it's all about the kids now. Er yes that's kind of the deal you make when you make a baby!

Life has changed, you don't sleep, you can't just go out randomly, you can't go out on all nighters and that but instead you have this little bundle who learns something new every day and loves you unconditionally. That's enough for me to ditch everything!

Huge numbers of men around the world will never be able to father a child for various reasons, then you have this guy whinging about being blessed THREE times.

This is why to any wannabe dad, think before you do the deed, are you ready to tackle the challenge fatherhood presents?

If not then Durex do a fine range of products.....

An apology to my son

I LOOKED at Jacob this morning and wanted to apologise to him. I wanted to apologise for the way the world is heading and what he may face when he becomes an adult.

It's a shame I have to blog with such negativity but frankly I am so annoyed I need to vent my spleen.

The 'joy' that The Sun is dropping page three is nauseating for many reasons, none of them because I love perving on the young ladies, I have evolved unlike some men

The campaigners will tell you it sexualises children, it encourages men to commit heinous and depraved sexual crimes and makes women somehow lower class citizens.

Wrong, wrong and wrong. Plenty of grown ups today followed my path, saw page three but had parents to explain the differences between the male and female body but how as a man you should respect women.

And page three is to blame for some of the vile crimes committed against women? Do me a favour, any man that commits these vile and depraved crimes is sick in the head already.

Women are lower class citizens – nope, none of these women have been forced onto page three, bound and gagged. They have chosen to do it, none of them are porn stars, they are real women with real bodies.

If Jacob saw page three when he was older, I want to be able to sit down and explain that while the paper has chosen to print that, he as a man has a duty to respect all women and their bodies.

I don't want my son growing up in a world where bodies of both sexes are hidden. It's not about sexaualising children but helping them understand at an early age that while the human body is desirable it must be respected.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone, my sole intention is express my opinion  

Hello 2015 and thanks for the memories 2014

I KNOW, a year in review post five days after it finished, I’ve been busy!

2014 was a wonderful year as I became a dad for the first time to baby Jacob although I question how he already is five months old, where does the time go.

 

I feel truly humbled to have been blessed with a child and that Pam enjoyed a relatively healthy pregnancy and suffered little ill effects in the aftermath.

We didn’t have the birth we wanted but the greatest gift for any man is to bring his wife and child home, both healthy and happy if a little bewildered by the whole thing!

 

It’s a gift I cherish and am thankful for each day and I am humbled to see my wonderful wife evolve from the kind-hearted person she has always been to the natural mother. I know I am biased but I truly believe she was born to be a mother, I am just thankful I played my part in helping her achieve her destiny.

Also in 2014 I saw good friends become parents, some for the first time in dramatic circumstances and others for the second time, their lives made complete by the welcome arrival of another little bundle.

 

Family members have made decisions about their futures and some dear friends have bounced back from the abyss in style and are now looking down the road to a brighter tomorrow.

I still miss those we have lost but cherish the fact my immediate family all have their health, all apart from my dear mum.

 

Dementia is sadly a permanent resident but the fight in her heart remains, she has never been beaten by anything in her life and dementia, you’ve picked a tough cookie this time.

The mum I know is long gone, but her courage and her will to keep going sustains me and my dad. To anyone coping with dementia I say don’t focus on the present, treasure the memories.

 

So what of 2015? What are you bringing to the party? You’ve got a lot to live up to!

Whatever you have to offer, I will attack every day the same and to everyone reading this may I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2015.

Finding his hands and other wonderful milestones

I WISH someone had told me that as a parent you will share the joy of your baby's discoveries as much as they do.

Jacob is progressing really well, yes he does have baby eczema and yes he has his grumpy moments, especially when its bed time....

But on the whole he is a relaxed and broadly happy little boy who has brought so much joy into Pam and I's lives and that extends to his discoveries.

As well as making more and more sounds and appearing to want a conversation at times (it's ok to babble back at your child isn't it?) he has developed two particular traits which make me smile and at times laugh.

The first is when he is in his chair, we call it the 'standby' mode. Jacob can go from looking around to suddenly disappearing off deep in thought, moving his hands once in a while.

It's like he is learning on the go, pausing his day to reflect on the new experience and then coming back to us.

The most adorable trait though his how much he has embraced discovering his hands. Despite being part of him since his arrival, he really had no call for them.

That was until he realised they could grab, move things and most adorably, held together. Jacob can spend a good 20 minutes a day simply holding his own hands in different ways.

The look of wonder on his face though is a joy to behold, each combination is greeted with a look as if to say 'ohhh right that's pretty funky'.

Never knew grabbing your hands could be so fun. He is even attempting to hold his milk bottle when he being fed now.

His little hands won't stretch to that yet so there is still a use for daddy lol!  

Bargain Hunt!

No not the TV programme but a blog about the rather silly pleasure I took from Tesco's 'interesting' approach to deals on Pampers nappies.

Pampers New Baby Size 3 (What can I say, Jacob is a growing lad) were on sale in plentiful supply. Packs of 29 were £4 each, a pack of 50 was £10 and a box of 74 for £12.

I do love getting the boxes because they last longer and the boxes can be used for storage once empty, very important when family members keep donating clothes!

But there wasn't any, so worked down to the pack of 50....until I spotted a flaw in Tesco's pricing....

The packs of 29 were £4 each or two for £6. Keen mathematicians among you will have already spotted the bargain. Yes buy two 29 packs and get 58 nappies for £6....eight more nappies for £4 less.

However, that was not the 'highlight' of this shopping trip, get two for £6 and buy a third 29 pack and what do you get?

87 nappies for £10, 37 more nappies than the 50 pack for the SAME PRICE!

In the modern Twitter parlance this would be classed as an #epicfail but it was a very welcome 'fail' by Tesco on this one.

Hopefully they don't notice the flaw for a while, could do with saving money as apparently it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

I hope it's the same in Tesco stores near you, if it is then why not stock up!

If you find breastfeeding 'offensive' you're a tit

SO it 's been a normal Monday morning, going through my tweets, catching up with e-mails and the like when I stumble across this.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11195373/Facebook-removes-mothers-breastfeeding-photo.html

And to say it makes me angry and spoils my Monday morning is an understatement. I know as a bloke I shouldn't get angry as much but I am fed up reading how people find breastfeeding 'offensive' and how mums are banned from shops for doing it.

For crying out loud it will soon be 2015, can we not as human beings differentiate between breasts being used to feed a hungry little human and basic public nudity. It's not like the poor mum in the story was sitting there with her breasts out with a 'come and have a go on these' look on her face!!!!!!!!.

The same goes for the mums banned/asked to stop feeding in shops, every mum I have encountered breastfeeding does it with varying degrees of privacy, from the full on shawl to a slight turn away or a lift up of a shirt. You see nothing and to be honest if you find it sexual you need your head seeing to, if you find it 'vulgar' then sorry you're a prude.

We went to an NCT reunion the other weekend and I turned round inadvertently and ended up with a full view of nipple seconds before a little person began his lunch. I was slightly embarrassed but only because I've got to know the mum and her husband really well but offended no - it's just a little person's lunch/dinner being offered!

My point being is you cannot consider something natural as offensive, mums up and down the land aren't walking around in public with their breasts hanging out. I'm no hippy, far from it but please let's grow up here.

The internet is full of offensive things, let's spend more time complaining about innocent British men being be-headed and the video being shared on Facebook and YouTube than mums doing what mums do best, looking after their babies.